Happy New Year

My New Year's Resolution: to be better about updating the blog.

...starting tomorrow. :)

Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself. - Aisha Elderwyn

Deny til You Die

My kids will kill me for this but being that it's Christmas time, I thought I would share a warm fuzzy. Don't you dare ever bring it up to them or mention it to them because I'm sure they will deny it ever happened. They'll try to convince you that I was on crack and don't know what I'm talking about. But joke is on them, I have a witness! ;) Jordan was at work the other day and Devan and I went to the movies with a friend. We decided to grab a bite to eat after the movie and went to see Jordan at work. She came out to talk to us for a few minutes then had to go ring up a customer. Devan decided he was still hungry so went to get more food. He came back to the table and they called the number before his, then the number after his. He was just starting to feel bad thinking maybe Jordan had somehow sabotaged his order. Then she comes bebopping over with his order on a tray and says "since you're my brother and I love you I thought I'd be nice and bring your food to you." Everyone together.....AWE! Then she wanted to sit for a few minutes and there wasn't room in the booth so she sat on Devan's lap. They were being silly and Dev was trying eat his sandwich with his arms around Jordan. It was not working well since she was in the way of it getting to his mouth. She was bending weird to help accommodate his attempt at eating and they were both laughing and Dev says "I love you Jord." Again in unison....AWE! See, told you...warm fuzzy.

Today, December 18th is International Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf.

Buddy the Elf....what's your favorite color?

Anyone Wanna Bake Cookies With Me?

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another
cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves
a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas !

Forgetful Me

This is a little late but still worth sharing. I've already shared that band is over and my sweet boy is so glad it is. The kids did an encore performance which was really fun to watch. The band leader shared some interesting facts about this band season: the average high temperature during band camp the last week of July was 93 degrees (Devan did not attend), the temperature at the last competition in Chattanooga was 36 degrees, the number of cans collected by the band students for the canned food drive was 500, the number of flags sewn by volunteers was 84, the number of times the band played the school fight song this year was 59, the number of hours the band practiced this year was 211, and the number of minutes the band performed this year was 112.

It's snowing here which makes it really feel like Christmas. The kids went out and played in the snow for a while and had a great time. Devan is so excited because school is closed for tomorrow. Mom is not excited, it's finals week and he needs the extra day to review in each of his classes. :
I had a couple fun stories to share and convinced myself that I didn't need to make a note of them because I would remember....well, I don't remember. I'll make a note so I can remember and share them with you as they happen. I'll share this instead:

Mad Cracking Skills

I was in the kitchen and decided to brag a little bit about my ability to crack an egg one handed. I got Jordan's attention and told her to watch my mad skills as I cracked the egg. Since she was sitting at the table, I held the bowl in one hand, and tapped the egg on the counter then turned toward her so she could see me in all my glory. I cracked the egg into the bowl, voila...and then lost my grip on the bowl and dropped it upside down on to the floor! The egg seemed to move in slow motion as it slid down the side of the bowl onto the floor. I don't think she was impressed.

Super fun website: www.deargirlsaboveme.com

I was eating a Reese's peanut butter cup the other day when I opened it and it had two wrappers on it. I love that! It's like the manufacturers are making sure my cup is extra protected. The only other thing better than the double wrapper on the Reese's cup is opening Rolo's and having them be butt to butt to look like a barrel. When I was a kid, that was my favorite! I used to save those and eat them last...okay, I still do. They are special. I like to eat the special ones last and will get secretly disappointed when the barrel breaks before I'm ready to eat it.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Creature of Habit

I was a little out of it today and needed some Advil. I was talking to Jordan and went to the cupboard to take the Advil. About an hour later I'm wondering when my Advil is going to kick in when I realize, I walked to the cupboard and absentmindedly took one of my allergy pills! Every morning I get up and feed the cats then pour myself a cup of water and take an allergy pill. Out of habit I just grabbed the allergy pills and took one. I burst out laughing when I realized what I did. Which was even more bizarre because I was in the shower. LOL!

Muggles at Midnight

Last night the kids wanted to go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter so I'm sleepy mom today. I broke tradition of seeing the movie on opening day with them last summer because they were in Oregon. I was really sad about it then, but it worked out in my favor because I got to sleep last night. It was interrupted when I got a phone call to come pick them up at 2:45 in the morning. And my phone rang so loudly next to my head that it scared the bajeebers out of me! I think I may have even squealed a little bit when it rang! I had a hard time falling back to sleep once we got back home though.

The kids said it was the best one yet. Glad it was worth it. Especially since Dev still went to school on time and Jord had to work the morning shift. I love it when they willingly torture themselves. It makes my job just that much easier. :)

I'm a mechanic

Okay, not really but I now know how to do install new brakes on my car. Yay me! Watch out I might be walking around with grease under my nails. So my brake installation skills have nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that my car has been deemed one of the easiest cars to put brakes on...NOTHING WHATSOEVER!!! I've just got skills. Major skills.

Today was a good day. Jordan and I went to the mall, we both found clothes, and neither of us ended up snapping at each other, loosing our patience, or getting angry. Success!

Happy Election Day

Hope you all had a great day voting. My son was off school so he was happy. My sweet daughter had to work.

Jordan is mad at the cats right now too. She put together a care package for her best friend and had a card sitting on top of the box. She left it on the floor for me to mail and the cats knocked the card off the box. Then the boy cat got upset and threw up on the card. Twice.

I realized the other day that I really like that my kids are just slightly odd. They are so interesting and fun and have such great personalities. They both laughed when I told them this and we had this amusing and animated conversation about it. My son gave me the example of him having a similar conversation with one of the band dads. Dev was telling him how when the kids were little and a light bulb would burn out we would paper mache it and turn it into maracas. The guy just laughed. The kids have a brain and can think for themselves and best of all, they think outside the box. I'm glad the kids like it too. They are glad they aren't like everyone else. It's fun to watch them embrace the crazy I have so easily passed on.

Happy Halloween

Gotta love Halloween in the bible belt. Trick-or-treating a day early (on Saturday). Just. So. Wrong!!!!!

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?





keep scrolling....





with a pumpkin patch

When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?





keep scrolling...







when you're a mouse

Having Some Fun Now

The saying is supposed to be busy as a bee, but I think it needs to be busy as a Baldwin.

Last weekend we went to Dinosaur World. It's kinda cheesey but SUPER awesome! This place is meant for kids maybe 9 and under but it's our new favorite place. The kids got to dig for fossils in a giant sand box using plastic beach toys. Dev was the biggest guy there - including all the dad's! It was great! When he was on the slide on the playground, when sitting at the top getting ready to go down it, he could almost reach the bottom if he stretched his legs out! He may be tall and bigger than all the men in the park, but he's still my son and knows how to have fun!!!!
Fossils found by my oversized paleontologists!
Are you listening to me young man?!

In other news...my baby girl got a job! She is the cutest little worker at Zaxby's. While she may be the smallest (they don't make shirts small enough to fit her) she is the biggest rock star and is earning compliments left and right!

It finally happened! I finally did it! I got to go geocaching! It was neat-o fun. We mostly found urban caches. I felt kinda sneaky snooping around in parking lots and messing with light posts and looking in trees and bushes back behind buildings and in parking lots. I don't know that I'll ever look at a light post or stop sign the same way. It's almost like a secret underground society of people that do this, hiding and finding things in the most unlikely places and maybe even right under your nose. I must say, I'm pretty good at it (once my friend showed me some of the tricks) but the thinking creatively and looking for things out of the ordinary, I can do that! I'm hoping I can convince my friend to take me again sometime. Next time though, I'm pretending I'm a ninja.

It's the Perfect Day

It's 10/10/10. Perfect score from all three judges.

It's also National Zombie Day. Did you eat brains today? I hear they are high in fiber. And they are supposed to be good in scrambled eggs but since Zombies can't cook...

I've figured out a solution. I think that we should be able to call the numbers on a license plate and be connected to the driver of that vehicle so we can tell them they are being stupid or to get the bleep over and quit hogging the lane or to step on the gas jackass! Seriously, all our road rage problems would easily be solved if we could link to the person, (but not by cell phone), by their license plate and tell them a quick sentence like - HANG UP AND DRIVE YOU TARD! Now you are thinking to yourself that you are a hands free state but not all states can be like you, and not all states want to be like you. Gosh, you're state is so self righteous. Plus, like half your state doesn't even drive, they use public transportation or other means of transportation so you don't have as much of this problem as the south. People in the south LOVE their cars and for the most part, they all drive fast and just fine. It's the idiot commuters that go really slow in the left hand lanes that we should be able to punch in their license plate and link to their vehicle so we can thank them for wasting our oxygen. Or to introduce them to the little blinky lights on the car called turn signals. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd drive in the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) Lane aka: Carpool Lane but I don't think the officer would buy that me and my bad attitude make for two occupants in the car.

Considering It

I think my bad eyesight is affecting my ability to kick butt in air hockey. That alone is enough to make me seriously consider going to the eye doctor. If my kidlets weren't going to be leaving me to join the academic world in the next couple years, I would get an air hockey table. Although, I could probably afford one better after they leave and it would be something fun to do when they come home to visit me... I'm obviously looking for any excuse to get a table. My love of air hockey is juvenile, I know. And...I. Don't. Care. So there. Hmph!

It's definitely fall. It's actually cold today. I had to close the patio door and turn the ceiling fans off. waaahhhhh! I am excited though, it's October which means Halloween which means pumpkin bread and pumpkin muffins and super yummy pumpkin pie! It also means trips to the pumpkin patch and getting lost in corn mazes and seeing zombies in the haunted house. I've got to find a guy to go through the corn maze with. I do NOT have that innate sense of direction. The only corn maze I went in I wandered around (with a map of clues) for about 2 hours and ended up exiting through the entrance. I never did get through the entire thing. It was rather pathetic running around in circles the entire time. I think I saw the entrance about 4 times and finally started to get tired and thirsty so the next time we stumbled upon the entrance, we exited. It's also time to dig out the kids' favorite Halloween book - Big Pumpkin. It has to be read with different voices for different characters. I love making one of the monsters have a high pitched girlie voice. I'll have bedtime story time for my 16 and 17 year olds.

Jacket Season

It's Fall and I love it! I love the cool crisp mornings. It feels so good to throw open the windows and let the fresh air in. It's just cool enough to need a sweatshirt or light jacket in the mornings and evenings. It's perfect for coming home, grabbing a book, and relaxing on the patio. The leaves are just starting to change color and the sunsets are amazing. Can you tell I'm having a hard time getting up and moving this morning? I am sitting here trying to type this and my eyes keep wandering out the window (I hate it when they wander off like that, luckily they come back). I keep getting distracted by the nice breeze and sparsely cloudy sky. I've been up since the butt crack of dawn and instead of going back to sleep, I've been enjoying the peaceful morning.

I have a house to clean today and brought work home this weekend too. Guess I better get to it, I want to get some outside time today. Enjoy the lovely fall weather.

Making the Voices Jealous

Have you ever noticed that there are tons of insurance commercials. My son will see one and every time ask who our insurance is through. We never see commercials for them. Well, we finally did! They tried to sing a little weird insurance song and then ended it with "bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum." Awesome!!! Seriously, songs about insurance are stupid anyway so why bother trying to hide it, just bum it and call it good! Best insurance commercial ever.

I feel like I'm letting you down since not much is going on after our return from vacation. Just nose to the grindstone and band is taking all of Devan's time so chauffeur hat is getting lots of wear. Nothing exciting to talk about and the heat wave has dried up all my creative juices. I was curious how many people read this boring blog. I have have a visitor counter set up. I wanna keep tabs on you...well, not YOU, but you. Curiosity got the best of me and I just couldn't live anymore without knowing how many people want to subject themselves to my warped view of the world. So thanks for joining me in my little world. It's nice to have visitors however the voices get jealous.

Gripe of the day - isn't it apple season? There are hardly any apples at the stores and they are super expensive. Uh, it's fall, fall is apple season, that means there should be lots and lots of apples and they should be reasonably priced. I miss the PAC NW so much at this time of year. I miss my box of Fuji apples. Can I get a whoop whoop for my dad - apple delivery man extraordinaire?! WHOOP WHOOP!

I Left My DNA On A Wall In Seattle

Along with many other people. My kids too. While in Seattle we made a stop at Pike Place Market and made a quick detour into a back alley. We chewed our gum, blew some bubbles, then added our saliva coated gum to the Gum Wall. And yes, it is as grossly fascinating as it sounds.

Don't you want some gum now? Remember, get Extra Bubble Gum, they have nice little notes inside the flap.

Another highlight of Seattle was our visit to the University of Washington. The campus was gorgeous and they have lots to offer. Plus, so many programs for Freshmen to help get them involved and connected. Of course the only picture I remembered to get while visiting a college is this one of Princess Mackenzie Marie (not at UW). It's a beautiful crown don't you think?

What I did manage to get pictures of is one of my new favorite things in Seattle - The Fremont Troll. It lives under the Fremont Bridge. Forget the Space Needle and the waterfront, the only thing worthwhile on the waterfront is Ye Old Curiosity Shop that has shrunken heads and mummies on display. But for those who like the weird and bazaar, say hello to my shiny eyed troll friend...He can squish a slug bug and he can squish you. Unless of course you climb on him then pick his nose. He likes that. Even if you don't.

Bigger is Better

At least so far with our college campus visits. Learning lots about what we want in a campus and what we want from the school. The school in the middle of the city was our least favorite and the larger college has gotten Jordan's attention while the smaller school has Devan's interest. The campuses of both the large and small school are beautimous. Hopefully we can get a couple more campuses to visit before my little senior decides where to spend her inheritance.

Pics will be uploaded very soon. Not of the campus tours though, I didn't get any pictures of us visiting any of the three campuses. :) Yea, yea, I know....sshhhh! Hey, I'm doing better, at least I remembered to get pics of some of the highlights of our trip. Got some fun ones in Seattle. It's me, so of course we didn't go to the traditional touristy places. You'll have to wait til I can post pics to show the places we went. Evil teaser, I know. Mwah, ha, ha!!!!

Living in Beverly Hills

Today is 9-02-10. Welcome to Beverly Hills! It's the only day in my life I'll live in 90210. :)

My Butt Didn't Fit in the Crock Pot

My sister made my son cook dinner once a week when he was there over the summer. Luckily, he likes to cook and has 4 really yummy meals in his culinary repertoire. One of his favorites is pulled pork. They were going to have a BBQ sauce cook off to see who could make the better sauce but they ran out of time. His last week there was spent in the sleep lab, one of those days being his birthday. One of the gifts my sister took there for him to open was a bag of 4 different BBQ sauces. Not your typical birthday present but still got a positive reaction. My question is, how much pulled pork does she think we eat?! 4 bottles of BBQ sauce is a lot considering we only have two carnivores in our house. Seriously, 4 bottles!?!?!?!?!?!?!

As we were grocery shopping last week we decided to get a pork butt to make pulled pork and have a BBQ sauce taste test with our 4 bottles. We chose to get a really big butt so we would have lots of leftovers to eat throughout the week. I always put it in the crock pot and let it slow cook all day so its ready for us to eat when I got home from work. I went to put the butt into the crock pot and it didn't fit!!!! We got such a big pork butt that I had to squish the sides and shove it down into the crock pot. I finally wriggled it in there (luckily I had put a little bit of liquid in the bottom beforehand) and it was so big the top didn't close! It was almost there but was sitting on the meat. I turned it on to cook for 10 hours and went to work. My thought was that as it cooked and shrank a little, the lid would fully close. I was excited to have pulled pork for dinner and had been looking forward to it all day at work so I went straight to the crock pot when I got home; only to find that it wasn't done cooking! The gigantic pork butt didn't even cook in 10 hours!!!!!!!!!!! The meat hadn't even shrunk enough to allow the lid to close all the way. I had to shove it down into the pot some more and drain a little of the liquid and voila, the lid fit! :) Woo Hoo! Now to finish cooking the ginormous butt. I turned it on high and cooked it another 6 hours. Mmmmm...mmmmmm...Sheer perfection - for dinner the next night....

And the winning BBQ sauce is Sweet Baby Rays Hickory and Brown Sugar.

"You Can Play With Your Food...

...As long as you eat it." Which has totally transformed the way my daughter eats mashed potatoes. Now, instead of a pile of white mashed potatoes on her plate, with a little food coloring and creativity, she eats a mashed potato volcano.
While it seems weird to eat purple or green or yellow or red potatoes they now get eaten. Of course now I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out how to make more foods, especially vegetables, exciting...

I saw an armadillo the other day. Exciting!!! It was dead on the side of the road (poor thing). It was super cool looking, like it had tank armor covering it's body. It was super ugly, but so bizarre and neat-o that I almost pulled over to look at it. If I wasn't stuck in the middle of commuter traffic I would have pulled over to check it out. But don't think I didn't go to work and tell everyone I saw an armadillo. I'm really intrigued by them in all their ugly armored glory. A couple days later I'm watching TV and of course an animal show comes on and it's all about...yep, you guessed it....the armadillo! So I'm finally starting to get over my armadillo experience and I see another one dead on the side of the road! I'm trying really hard not to obsess over these stupid creatures but they fascinate me. I kinda want one now. I know you can't have one as a pet, but I do - want one as a pet. I wonder if I could catch one. Is there a trap I could make for it or just make some sort of insect trail that it could follow into a cage that I could keep it in? Hmmm. I know it wouldn't be nice to keep one so I won't, but I want to.

Oh The Irony

I love irony. I just find it fun to come across in everyday situations and I especially love it when it was an accident. Like when my company sent out a notice to the approximately 350 employees in our building trying to boost participation in a charity function. Anyone could wear jeans for a donation to be sent to the diabetes foundation. All those who want to support diabetes awareness make your donation and come have some ice-cream. Oh yes...they did! Ha, ha, you have an advanced degree and just sent that out! The irony was not lost on me!!!!!


I had to take this picture because as I was driving down the road and saw an old friend in the passenger seat. Her name is Fern...

I See You

30 foot statue watching over Chicago. Of course we had to go visit. There is no way my eye obsessed son would spend the summer in Chicago and NOT go see the eye. I feel so honored that he waited until I got there to go check it out.






Me and the most handsome 16 year old boy on the planet. Being silly while under the watchful eye...







Proof we went Go Kart racing. You'll just have to take my word for it that I'm the most awesome slick track driver in our family. Here's my 16 year old tearing up the track!

So Much To Say, So Little Time

My sweet boy is back home and caught up on his sleep. It was very rare for him to ever take a nap but after the study, he would take one almost daily once we got home. Guess the nap study worked. :)

I had fun in Chicago when I went to pick him up. So Devan spent his 16th birthday in the sleep lab. The doctor running the study was super nice and made him a cake and all the research assistants gave him a card and had a big birthday sign over his bed. My sister went to spy on him and take him a present to open on that day too. They were not allowed visitors during the lab time but visitors could come watch them on a monitor from another room. It was very thoughtful of them to try to make his birthday special in the middle of the study. And especially nice of the doctor to make the cake and bring it over because she got called to Boston and only had time to swing by and drop the cake off before heading to the airport. We took him out for dinner the night he got done with the study and the next day we went shopping in downtown Chicago. Later that night we went Go Kart racing. There was a track that had a slick track and a regular track. I am AWESOME at drifting! For those of you who don't know what drifting is, its fishtailing - on purpose. I had the best lap time first time and second best lap time on our last race. Next movie in the Fast & Furious franchise: Fast & Furious Suburban Mom Showdown.

Hard to believe my baby is 16. He's loving it! I guess I am too. He helped me drive about 3 hours coming home from Chicago. That was nice. He probably would have driven longer but since our car is a little small and he feels kinda cramped driving it, he couldn't sit that long. He's too tall and needs to stretch out.

Things are back to normal now. School has started now and we are back to schedules and bed times. Well, I'm a little soft on bed times, as long as they go to bed within reason. Devan is going to do marching band again so practices will be starting for him soon (already started for the rest of the band but he wasn't here and it ordering himself a new bass. Fairly heavy school load again plus marching band, if I didn't know him better I would say my son has turned into a geek. A tall sixteen year old who calls him mom to tell her he just took two trains and a bus to get the Best Polish Sausage in Chicago.

The Study of Sleep

Hello everybody! This is Jordan with the latest update in the wonderful lives of the Baldwins. I have been forced into action by my Internet-less mother in order to inform you that we are no longer allowed to like my brother. No this is not just a common case of sibling rivalry, there is a legitimate reason for our new found dislike. My brother got a job. Now, this may not seem like much of a reason to dislike him, but let me elaborate. It is not just any job he acquired. He is participating in a sleep study. Some person somewhere in Chicago has decided to conduct a study. The study is of the effects on a teenage boy's self when he does not get enough sleep. My brother, along with three or four (I don't remember which) other boys, were chosen to participate in this four week study. For the first week they stayed home and did whatever they normally do during their week but for one minor difference. Instead of going to bed at 3 AM and waking up at noon they had to go to bed at midnight(?) and get up at exactly 9 AM. To enforce this 9 o'clock wake up time, the boys had to call in within five minutes of 9 or they forfeited $5 of their final paycheck for every extra five minutes of sleep. No sweat right? The second week is slightly more difficult in that they are not spending this week at home. Instead they spend their week in the lab at wherever this study is based out of, and are placed on a schedule of two hours of sleep then two hours awake repeated. At the end of the week they go into a room where all the lights are turned off, big comfy couches and chairs are provided, and hundreds of movies are played throughout the day. The boys just get to relax and try to stay awake, and fail if they want to, as they watch movies all day. This two week cycle is then repeated for another two weeks. After the four weeks is over he will get to look forward to being a test subject in an upcoming medical journal. I know it's a hard job he got right? Guess what his paycheck is for these four weeks of hard work... $1,000!!!! That's right for four weeks of "work" my spoiled rotten little brother gets to hang out in Chicago all summer and watch movies and gets paid $1,000 for it! Now you understand why we don't like him anymore don't you? :)
I believe that this is a sufficient update and I am now excused from my updating duties. Farewell until the next time my mother's constant bugging/begging finally breaks me and I come on here to update it for her again! I shall miss informing you all on our fabulously interesting life dearly! (NOT)

Spark, Crackle, Pop

My children have left me for the summer taking with them the two computers (of course) leaving me stranded, off the grid, out of touch, and totally unplugged. Yes people, I know, I need to get my own computer. You do however realize that if I have my own computer and don't have to beg, barter, or guilt my kids into letting me use theirs, you may hear from me A LOT more than you had anticipated. I personally think you can never get enough of me, but then again, I am a little biased.

I was thinking of graduation and all the people I know who graduated this year. It's funny how graduation ceremonies haven't really changed over the years. The little high school I graduated from has the exact same tradition – the Friday before graduation they have an assembly to announce each person's plans after high school, and to announce scholarships, they also have a little senior walk and put some sort of card in a box that will be buried under a slab in the courtyard. Do they ever dig them up? If so, when? Or is my little card doomed to live in the little box under the placard of the year I graduated forever? Then there is baccalaureate and seriously, who actually enjoys that? Then graduation. A time to get all dressed up to celebrate what should be a given in society today – that yay! you graduated from high school. Ok, I know I'm getting a little cynical but it seems so antiquated and all the ceremonies are truly boring. Plus, if you look at it logically, graduating from high school isn't that big of a deal. Now graduating from college – that's a big deal. High school, not so much in my book. It's a nice accomplishment and hopefully a springboard to some major accomplishments to come. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for my kids to graduate and I'm excited for all the kids I know who have just graduated. And I'm sure I'll cry at my kids' graduations (since I pretty much cry at anything flashback to first goal in pee-wee soccer). I think I'm mostly excited for their next steps after graduation. The best part about graduation though…for the kids is the money they get…for me...I love having another reason to buy cards. One of my accomplishments, one that I take WAY too much pride in – is my ability to find just the right card. Gifts too for that matter. I have a gift for it. Okay, maybe not a gift, maybe it's just patience reading through all the cards until I find just the right one, but I do it because I care. You're welcome.

I had a little thrill Saturday morning. I heard this strange noise and discovered it was coming from my hot water closet. I opened the door to see sparks coming out of the top of my water heater. AAHHHHH!!!!! Okay, where’s the breaker box? Gotta turn this thing off!!! Just as I find the switch for the hot water heater – POP! Then silence. Phew, no fire and hey wait, no electricity. Ok, flip the other breakers to reset them and…nothing. Hey!!! Okay, call the emergency maintenance people. Leave a message for them to call me back, get a call a couple minutes later, heart still racing and oh great, now I have to scramble to get decent because I'm not letting this guy see me in my messy apartment in my pj's. Get myself and the house in presentable order and have sweat dripping off me by the time he gets there. He resets the breaker outside and then fixes a little drip from the air conditioning unit that was dripping onto the top of the hot water heater, replaces fried wire for hot water heater and presto – it's fixed! Yay!!!! Hot water again and electricity and ceiling fans and air conditioning. Heat wave, you don't scare me (at least not any more you don't)!!!!!!

Three's No More

I am a little sad this weekend - with good measure. Just found out a dear, dear family friend died this weekend. I'm also a little out of sorts and my brain seems fidgety - semi-good reason for this. I'm trying to think of the other two now or racking my brain trying to figure out if this was number 3 and the cycle is done or possibly number 2...but mostly dreading the feeling that I'm back on a new cycle and this is number 1. I'm not superstitious by any mean, I don't believe in curses or jinxes, I don't knock on wood or throw salt over my shoulder. Ok, I HAVE thrown salt over my shoulder but only because it's fun to throw food over your shoulder. But there is one pattern that does seem to hold true and that is that death comes in 3's. Is it a superstition? I don't know. What I do know is that I can't think of any other two deaths in my circle so this is number 1 in the grouping meaning there are two more to go. That has me very discombobulated. I don't like this train of thought because as I get older and my family members are aging, I'm going to be dealing with this more and more. Whoever came up with death in 3's anyway? And what were they doing that they noticed people were dying in groupings of 3? And how close together does it need to be? Could it be over a years time? Two years? Is it just for people in my circle or people I hear about in general? Does it have to be someone I care about or are there levels of removal like a family friend compared to a 3rd cousin I met once? And who's to say it doesn't come in 6's? Or 9's for that matter? Again, we are back to the time frame issue. So while I said that the pattern seems to hold true, I think it holds true because we THINK it holds true. We've heard the school of thought so we try to find those connections. If we had never heard the theory that death comes in 3's, would we still try to group them together? There are just so many unanswered questions and too many holes for me. No more 3's. I don't accept. The rules seem ambiguous and undefined so I'm not going along with that train of thought anymore.

Bikers and my daughter

I know you have all been anxiously waiting the in depth coverage of the teaser headlines but the regularly scheduled program was delayed due to one greedy teenager not granting me access to the only computer in the house. School is out now which means he does sleep late in the mornings allowing me to illegally search his room and seize the computer for my own personal use.

Have you ever wondered why men grow their beards out super long? Like the guys in ZZ Top. I really just don't get it. It's not attractive and little fuzzies get caught in them and I imagine they get in the way when sleeping. Not to mention the whole eating thing. What do they do tuck it into their shirt so their beard is out of the way? Now don't get me wrong, ZZ Top totally rocks the super long beard thing but how they do it is a complete mystery because on everyone else, it just seems ridiculous. The utter absurdity of it all was brought to my attention the other day as I passed a biker on the freeway. His beard was long and he didn't have a full face helmet on so the wind was whipping his beard all around and it was smacking him in the face! Similar to a girl with long hair riding in a convertible, if her hair is not contained in a hat or ponytail, strands of hair will whip around due to the wind. Most of the time it is long enough to just be annoying but the length of this man's beard was just right so the wind had basically parted it down the middle and it was coming up and hitting him on the cheeks. I had to wonder if it felt like he was being snapped with little mini towels over and over again on his cheeks. This did answer an age long question for me though - which is, why do bikers braid their beards?

My lovely daughter was getting ready to head out on her summer away from me, back to the cold and rain, and realized she had forgotten to say goodbye to her brother. It was about 5 am so I told her to wake him up to tell him goodbye, that he will fall right back to sleep. She went into his room and had to repeat that she was leaving and wanted to say bye about three times before it registered in his sleepy brain. Still disoriented from being awakened during his REM cycle, he leaned forward to give her a hug goodbye and they totally bonked heads! LOL!!! Now that's one way to say goodbye to your brother, head butt him! The bashing of foreheads was probably the only reason he remembered waking up.

It is no secret that my daughter gets motion sickness. It is manageable in a car but flying is the worst. We can subdue it with Dramamine and lots of water but add to it the excitement of getting to see her long lost friends (overly dramatic teenage viewpoint) and not much sleep and you are asking for trouble. We all have our routines when we get on a plane but I'm sure she is one of a small handful of people who checks the seat pocket for the pukey bag and arranges it in front and sticking up a little for easier access. If there isn't anyone beside her, she will do it to the next seat over as well. The early morning flight, the reason for the previously mentioned head bonking, was a waste of Dramamine. Within 15 minutes the pukey bag had been utilized. She spent about the last hour of the flight with her forehead pressed against the seat in front of her as she concentrated on breathing and trying not to dry heave. She was seated next to a "biker dude and his wife and they were amusing and nice." Luckily she got to get off the plane but not at her destination, oh no, she landed in Las Vegas - to catch her connecting flight. I got a text complaining that the only good food at the airport is Subway and the line was super long so that was not an option. She joked that her friends had better be "way excited" to see her or she was going to stay in Vegas and become a stripper! It's a good thing she didn't know what was going to happen on the next flight or the next time I saw my daughter would be on a stage with a pole. She got sick again, unfortunately she didn't get the bag up quick enough and got it all over the floor, fortunately she was in the aisle seat. Unfortunately some got on her backpack. Fortunately the flight attendants were really kind about cleaning it up and it smelled like vanilla when they were done, which I'm sure is better than how it smelled in the first place. Fortunately my daughter does not have the ability to see the future. Unfortunately the house (Las Vegas) loses (although, it could be considered a fortunately). Fortunately my daughter caught her connecting flight and is not a stripper!!!!!

Teaser

Too tired to type right now. Here's a teaser of things to come:

^My kids have a new way to say goodbye.

^Braided beards.

^Career opportunities in Las Vegas.

Tune in tomorrow for complete in depth coverage.

Weekend Away

So I'm finally in the mood to write, I know you've missed me. But alas, I cannot, because you see, I am going to Chicago. It's my brother-in-law's college graduation!! Leaving in a couple hours. Gotta swing by the store and gets snacks for the drive. Will check in with you later.

On Top Of The World

All those times I have complained about the hill to our apartment - I take them back. Love our apartment for the view and especially the elevation. We were very fortunate during the tornado warnings and flooding. We are unscathed. So, here's my post: look at some of the images of the flood.

You're Reading My Blog - Bless Your Heart

The other night at dinner we were eating and my son looks at me and asks me if I was going to write about it in my blog. I asked what he was talking about. He said I finally made "southern food" and he wondered if I was going to tell everyone. Ppppsssshhhh, no, of course I'm not going to blog about that! Who wants to know that I've been in TN for almost three years and have finally made my first southern dish?! Then, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to share...so guess what? After being in TN for nearly three years - I made one of my favorite southern dishes. Pulled Pork. mmmmmmm! It's so yummy. It's my favorite. Oh sorry, I already said that. It's typically served on a bun with coleslaw but I just like it by itself with the yummy BBQ sauce. My next item to learn to make is the BBQ sauce. Next thing you know I'll be saying y'all and talking really slow and calling people ma'am and honey. I will tell you in southern speak, if you want to insult someone it's perfectly okay as long as it is accompanied by "bless their heart." Just remember, if anyone blesses your heart, you were just insulted. And if they throw in a honey or sweetie, well, it doesn't get much worse than that. The only time blessings are a good thing in the south, is when you sneeze. Don't say you weren't warned.

Tomorrow is a big day. It is S.A.T. testing day. Daughter has to get up at 7 AM!!!!! Did you know they added a whole other section to the SAT? It used to be 1600 points was a perfect score but now it's 2400. They have the reading and math sections but now they have a writing section as well. So Jordan took an online practice test and without a calculator (they are allowed one during the test) she scored a 1940. The scoring part gave the recommendation or suggestion or information or whatever that to get into an Ivy League college you usually need 2000-2400. I wonder how well she would do if she actually studied and possibly took a few more practice tests....I'm not sure Stanford is ready for my silly 16 year old.

The other day I get to work and sitting on my desk is a paperclip in the shape of a hanger with a paperclip in the shape of a pair of shorts attached to it as well as one in the shape of a shirt. One of the girls I work with loves the fun shapes of paperclips. She also gave me one that is shaped like a thought bubble. I really want another thought bubble and then I want to add them to one of those headbands with the springy wires coming off the top to make little thought bubble dealie bobbers. Although, now that I think of it, it would be really fun to have the thought bubble on one side and then a light bulb on the other - for when you have those moments of brilliance and BING, the little light bulb comes on just like in the cartoons. OH - they should light up! There could be a little button on each side to light up whichever one was appropriate! Like when I had a totally amazing idea (like this current one) I could just push this little button on the side and it would go BING and the light bulb would light up! Or when I'm having a crazy entertaining though, I could press the button the other side and the thought bubble would light up. I would love that!

My children informed me that Sesame Street got rid of cookie monster and replaced him with a "veggie monster." I sincerely hope this is not true. Cookie Monster is awesome! I get it though, promote the whole healthy eating thing...but that's what Veggie Tales is for. Plus, Sesame Street could totally be making some major cash right now. With this whole vampire craze going on with Twilight and True Blood, Sesame Street needs to be promoting The Count and getting his image out there. They should totally be marketing The Count and the little kids would be begging their parents for him since they want to be included in the whole vampire frenzy. BING! (the light bulb side of my dealie bobbers just went on)

Speaking of Socks

So today I found out that my daughter was really bummed about half way through age 13 when she realized that her Hogwarts acceptance letter was never coming. She knew she wouldn't get it when she was 11 but since we make people wait longer for things here in America, she figured that she might get it at her 12th or possibly 13th birthday. Now that they have the Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, I think they should have a birthday package that people can buy which includes a Hogwarts acceptance letter, a quidditch broom, spell books and supplies such as a cauldron and an animal (stuffed of course)...all the things a new Hogwarts student would require. How much fun would that be to get for your birthday?! Especially on your 11th birthday! And to top it all off, tickets to the theme park...perfect. That would seriously be the best birthday present ever.

It's interesting that the day following Tornado warnings (we were very lucky here) the weather is just beautiful. It was still a blustery day but it was warm and dry and an enjoyable day. The horrible weather really put a cramp in things yesterday though. There were a lot of things going on in the Nashvegas area. There was the Music City Marathon that was cut short and people had to be corralled into the stadium for safety. There was a huge street festival in downtown Franklin that was scary for the vendors out there selling their wares. But on the upside, I had a good reason to not get dressed and go anywhere. I also used the bad weather as my reason for not cleaning my house. Hey, any excuse not to clean is acceptable in my book.

Do cats have bellybuttons?

I had the funniest conversation with my blog voyeur friend. She like my writing style in regard to my blog so asked me to write a profile for her for a dating website. (Don't worry PK only two people know who you are.) I feel honored to have her trust that I could write something amazing to catch prospective mates. So if I help her and she gets lots of dates out of this and I'm not making much progress in my dating life am I going to feel good about helping her or irritated that I did my job too well. Well, I guess this will be a good test. Am I a female version of a regular sized nose Cyrano or am I Christian? (Yeah, he's the guy who can't convey his true feelings because he's a blubbering idiot.) I think in the end we will find that I am a female version of Christian hence my name - Kristi. This would be the ultimate in foreshadowing on my mother's part.

Why is bubble gum always pink? Why can't bubble gum be silver? Flavored bubble gum is other colors but bubble gum itself is always pink.

And does it ever bother you that the same baking soda you cook with is also used to clean your bathtub and your car battery connectors? I'm sure I've mentioned it before but it really bothers me. If it absorbs the odors in your refrigerator or freezer, will it absorb the smells in your intestines so you will have an odor free poo? Would it eliminate the "Silent But Deadly"?

Conversations with me can be really random and jump from topic to topic. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason as to how I get from one subject to the next. I have learned to walk you through my thinking process or at least map out the leaps I have taken to get from one subject to the next. My old office mate was very used to my random outbursts. It's almost like anecdotal turrets. When I would blurt out some random story or thought she would always say, "and speaking of socks..." What do socks have to do with anything? But then again, what do my random stories have to do with anything? Probably nothing but maybe something. Maybe it helps all of you reading this to feel normal; to feel good about yourself. I know you already feel that way just being friends with or related to me but everyone needs a little extra boost once in a while. Glad I could help. You are normal. You are great. You have excellent friend choosing abilities. You are special. No matter how bad your life gets you can always rest assured that you are a winner - you won the ultimate race - the sperm race! Congratulations!!!! Now have a great day knowing you came in 1st!

Appearances

Sometimes I think I should change up my blog background and lay-out to make it all pretty and fancy. After having this thought I quickly remind myself that I began writing this blog to keep my family and friends up to date with our far away lives and you don't need fancy pretty. You might want it and if you do, too bad. :) Plus, I'm not a fancy pretty kind of person. It's not about the packaging but about the contents. Although I just highlighted my hypocrisy again because I totally judge a book by it's cover. If it has a bad cover it is staying on the shelf. You gotta grab my attention with the cover or at least with the title. When I'm getting ready to type an entry, I stress over the title until I come up with just the right one. I want the title to grab your attention and still be relevant as well as entertaining. Sometimes I change the title two or three times before I decide on one. Yes, you are THAT important to me.

Our weather has been superb. During the day Jordan will take her homework or a book out onto the patio and sit in the warm sunshine for a while. Today she got engrossed in her book and stayed in the sunshine too long. She got a little red but it's lopsided. It is really dark on her right side and then fades to a lighter less intense burn on the left. To add a little excitement to her shading is a white loop with a white line through the middle of it. Yes, that would be her swimsuit strings tied in a nice big bow. Just two days ago she was laughing that one of her friends will be so jealous of her tan. Her friend is just too fair skinned and does not tan for anything, she will burn a little but it will not result in a tan, it results in pink fair skin that turns into fair skin once again. I'm not sure that jealousy is going to be the reaction that Jordan gets when her friend sees her big white loop in the middle of her shades of red.

Advil vs Asparagus

Why is it that your pee will smell like asparagus mere minutes after eating it but it takes Advil well over half an hour to begin to work? They need to make Advil out of asparagus so it will absorb into the body super fast. Why is it that it smells the same going in as it does coming out in liquid form? I understand the corn thing, coming out in the same form it went in as...we just don't chew our food well enough to break-up each kernel. I even understand how green die in Popsicles can turn your poo neon green but I don't know that I will ever understand how you can eat asparagus and within 5 minutes, your urine will smell like asparagus. All I know is that the makers of Advil and Tylenol need to do a little more research...

Jordan was totally jealous that I had gotten two packs of gum with fun little sayings on the package. I even asked one of the girls at work and her gum package said "If you are craving steak you will be disappointed." I told Jordan and she was SUPER excited to see that her new pack of gum had a saying and I have to agree, it is the winner. How can you beat a pack of bubble gum that is "Made from real bubbles." Awesome!!!!!!! Totally worth the wait! She went from being jealous to the one everyone else is jealous of. Admit it - you are all jealous and want bubble gum made from real bubbles.

You Are What You Eat

I've never thought to describe myself as Crispy Crunchy but since you are what you eat...

A small bit of something sweet with my lunch will keep me from craving it throughout the day so I packed a fun size 100 Grand in my lunch today. Yes, they do still make them and yes, they are still as awesome as you might remember. If you don't remember because you haven't eaten one, you are totally missing out! So I'm eating my fun size candy bar and realize that it says it is made of Milk Chocolate and Crispy Crunchies. Crispy Crunchies?!? I've never heard of a magic ingredient called Crispy Crunchies. What isle are those in? Maybe they are next to the chocolate chips and marshmallows. That would be the most logical place since marshmallows are like gooey little sugar clouds from heaven and chocolate chips are food of the Gods, or at least they should be. I've never thought to describe myself as Crispy Crunchy but since you are what you eat...The packaging is right though - it said it was fun sized and I have to agree. Eating Crispy Crunchies is fun! It's fun to say and it's fun to eat. Don't think I'm not going to start reading the packaging for ALL my food now. Who knows what else I am eating or wearing for that matter. I'm going to start reading all the descriptions for my clothes and my food, oh heck, I'm just going to start reading all of my store purchased products.

Blame the blur on my cell phone that I refuse to upgrade because I don't need or want to get a data plan. I only use my phone to talk to people and to text. I don't need Internet access nor do I want it. Plus my phone has theft deterrent (yes, like the commercial -exactly like the commercial if I have good aim). Who doesn't love a phone you can chuck at someones head that could actually hurt them and not damage your phone?! Violent side exposed, oops...

Easter Sunday

Hoppy Easter !!!!!!!! Hee, hee, I like saying it hoppy instead of happy...it throws people off.

I saw some plastic Easter eggs that are camouflage. They were awesome! I've decided that even though my kids are teenagers, I'm getting a bunch of those eggs and filling them full of candy and money and other fun stuff and having the most epic Easter egg hunt next year. I'm really good at hiding eggs so I will have to count how many of those camo eggs I hide. I'm thinking I will also hard boil some brown eggs and not color them so they will be super hard to find also. Although, if teenage kids know there is money to be found, it's a guarantee they will find them all.

I've come to the realization that I'm a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite in the opposite way that most people are. Most people go church only on special days like Christmas and Easter and sometimes Mother's Day and Father's Day. I avoid church on those days. So which is worse, only going to church on special holidays or avoiding church on special holidays?

We watched Veggie Tales this morning. I'm counting that as church.

I think my toilet seat broke my toes

Read the title again slowly. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I have too many words in there and they are in the wrong order. How many of you want to reach for that red pen/pencil to correct what you think is my grammatical error? Logically the title should be "I broke my toes on the toilet." Although I guess that would need something else as well since it could also mean I was on the toilet and broke my toes which wasn't the case. Well, this is me and if you remember from a few entries ago, my friend commented that my brain is odd and my mom agrees, so I'm letting the title stand. It's accurate so deal with it. I'm not sure what a broken toe feels like or even multiple broken toes but I imagine they feel something like what I am experiencing. Okay, okay, I know you are dying to know the story of how my toilet seat allegedly broke my toes.

I had just gotten out of the shower and was drying off when Einstein (boy cat) is just outside the door meowing hello really loud. I don't want him to wake sleeping beauty in the next room so I quickly open the door and let him into the bathroom with me. He began whining really loud and I was trying to dress in a hurry so I could open the bathroom door and let him out before my son had to get in the shower. I lifted my foot really quickly and awkwardly since Einstein was in my way. The next thing I know I caught my three middle toes on the toilet seat, yes SEAT, and lifted it up a good 6 inches, which of course comes crashing down and freaks out the cat who opens the door and goes running into sleeping beauty's room. So much for being quiet. Toilet seats do not fall quietly. I didn't kick the toilet or bump my toes on the bowl, I just caught my toes on the seat. Odd? Uh, definitely! Of all the people you know, would it of course happen to me...Uh, definitely! Am I just a little confused at how I could catch my smaller inner toes only on the seat of the toilet and lift it while trying to put my pajama pants on and not fall on my cat, I'm being a bit repetitive here, but...Uh definitely! I have also come to the conclusion that feet are the most awkward appendage. Oooohh, now that I said that I wonder if they are an appendage or an appendage of an appendage? That seals it, feet are so awkward there isn't even a classification for them! They are just - feet. Feet are awkward. If it weren't for the whole standing up and using them to get around, I don't think I would like my feet. They constantly get stepped on, they trip me, they fall asleep and get all tingly when I sit on them, they get tired after using them too much, and sometimes they get owies. They get stinky, and they get hard spots you may have to scrub away with a stone, they grow bumps called bunions (even the name sounds icky) and they just stick out there so you are constantly kicking things. In my opinion feet are the most inconvenient appendage of an appendage. So glad I don't have four of them.

They let me out of Prison

I went to Prison today and lo and behold, they let me leave!

Chewing Issues

I haven't bought gum in the longest time but had a craving for some bubble gum the other day so I bought a pack of Extra Classic Bubble Gum. I had so much fun getting a piece of gum because inside the pack there was this message:




I love getting compliments from my gum! I had to share my gum with everyone so they could see my fun gum and I quickly went through that pack. I went to pick up another pack with the hopes that it will be just as fun....it was! The inside flap on the new pack says: Try explaining the taste of bubble gum to someone who has never tasted it. I will never buy any other brand of gum again.


Jordan loves sprinkles on food, especially on ice cream. Yeah, I don't get the appeal either. Anyway, we made brownies the other night and she wanted sprinkles on them. We put dinosaur shaped sprinkles on our brownies then proceeded to eat the brownies saying, "Nom, nom, nom." The brownies tasted so much better eating them that way. It is really fun to eat your food while audibly nom nomming.

I Blame My Mother!

Alright, pop quiz - how many of you answered "Hey, me too!" to my title? Okay, how many answered - "well duh!"? Wait, that was strange, I'm pretty sure I didn't punctuate that last phrase as a question properly. I'm not sure how to punctuate it though since it was an exclaimed statement posed as a question. Consider me officially baffled.

What I was going to say is that after my last blog my mom asked me where do I come up with these things? Like how the last blog entry I was talking about the Freightliner version of the Pushmi Pullyu. She also said that she agrees with deanna's comment about my brain being odd. Which of course she followed up with "and you just go on and on and on and on and on." I don't know if I was just insulted because the crazy never ends with me or if it was a compliment that I can come up with creative stories on a regular basis. I'm choosing to believe it was a compliment but that could just be the crazy taking charge again. If it wasn't a compliment all I have to say is...Like Mother Like Daughter!!!!

As I'm sitting here amongst Jordan's food hoard of a string cheese wrapper with mushed up french fry on it, a cup of water that the cat keeps trying to drink, a container with 2 day old uneaten chocolate cake frosting, an empty McDonald's bag with the empty french fry container next to it and a half eaten giant sized dark chocolate bar; I just re-read this entry and I've decided that it would be really cool if I could record my voice reading it and then you read along so you get my voice inflections and what-not. Although I'm not completely certain what what-not is or is not.

Best Jordan quote EVER - "You're weird so I'm going back under my blanket!"

Pushmi Pullyu by Freightliner

We had tons of books growing up; we had the Dr. Seuss collection and the Walt Disney collection. These were a series of books that you sign up to get a couple new books each month. They were great! I read them over and over and over again. I didn't like the typical Disney story ones such as Cinderella. My favorites were the crazy not so well know stories told with Disney characters such as a Disney spin-off of the best story ever - Pimbanonis as told by my Grandma Norma. EVERY time we went to visit her we had to have her tell us that story. I think we probably threatened my cousin within an inch of his life to go ask Grandma to tell us the story knowing she wouldn't say no to him. The Disney version has Goofy doing all these things completely wrong like carrying a loaf of bread tied to a string dragging it on the ground behind him. That sort of thing. One book that had great illustrations was the Dr. Doolittle story where he and the animals outsmart pirates. I liked the idea of the Pushmi Pullyu. It seemed like a very practical set up for survival skills if they could just agree on a way to run - at least my 6 year old brain thought so. It wasn't my favorite character in the book but it was intriguing to my underage brain. To put it in perspective - the pirates in the book scared me and I wouldn't read the book for about a year. I always wondered how the Pushmi Pullyu got into the Crow's Nest of the ship to be able to spot the approaching Pirate Ship and they always looked really uncomfortable up there with all four legs being crammed into that little area.

The other day I'm almost home and the freeway started slowing a little. There is a big semi truck next to me and as I get ahead of it I see this gigantic white semi truck cab FACING THE WRONG WAY!!! I think to myself that must be why we are all slowing down, the truck is flipped around on the freeway and that lane is having to merge with the outside lanes to get around it. Then a split second later I see that there are two other semi truck cabs being towed on the same truck that is pulling the gigantic white truck cab. These other two cabs are raised so only the back wheels are on the ground and the front wheels are up on the rack. The gigantic white semi truck cab is too big to fit on the rack so they were towing it backward. Ok, brain reset, that makes more sense. Phew! Then I get a little farther forward and see that the truck pulling all these is the EXACT same gigantic white semi truck cab! First thing that pops into my head...It's the Pushmi Pullyu of semi trucks!!!!!!!

Productive Day

I have finally made my car Tennessee legal. So what if it was due in 2008... I am now a lucky conformist. I also had to take the day off to do it since the office to register your vehicle is only open Monday thru Friday 8am to 4:30pm. Public servants my a%#!

My son considers himself lucky too.....

HE GOT HIS LEARNERS PERMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) for him

:( for me and the extra gray hairs

:) for the hair dye company

Baby Post-It Note

Exactly how nerdy am I that I write down blog topics on a post-it note? I usually think of something to write about while I'm at work so I jot it down to then discuss when I get home and can get to the computer. Unfortunately I can't find the note I made that had a couple good topics on it so you get my rambling babble instead.

I have come to the realization that while I really enjoy 3-D movies, they make me dizzy. It could also be my super bad eyesight but I prefer to blame the movie and the weird glasses that don't sit on the bridge of my nose but rather they sit on my nostrils. About half way through the movie I get a little self conscious about my protruding 3-D glasses holding up nostrils and wish the movie was over so I wouldn't feel like I have gigantic flapping in the wind nostrils. I did not enjoy Alice in Wonderland in 3-D as much as I liked Avatar but the 3-D thing is really neat. When I was a kid there was some swamp monster wanna be scary movie on TV and if you got the TV Guide then there was a pair of paper 3-D glasses to watch the snot green swamp monster movie. They didn't work. The paper glasses did cut into the top of your ear when you were wearing them and usually ripped when you tried to punch them out along the perforation. I really tried with the glasses, I had such high hopes. It was my first 3-D movie and I wasn't supposed to watch it so I was thrilled to see the scary TV movie in 3-D! I was ready to be scared in 3-D! But alas, it did not scare me...it did not seem like the monster was coming after me. It did seem like I was looking through a red cellophane lens and a blue cellophane lens watching a blurry green monster. I'm still not sure where the 3-D of it was. It was rather disappointing to sneak and stay up to watch the forbidden movie and it wasn't even scary - it was just green.

Typing this is hurting my thumb which is overly sore from affixing cards for my cousin. The kids and I did seven thousand. Maybe eight thousand, no, seven. Either way, my thumb hurts.

Super Powers

My invisibility super power is working! Twice last week people didn't see me! :) Now to work on my ability to fly...

Ooohhh, brownies!!!!!!!!!!!!! yummy to my tummy


later tater!

Chew on this

Sometimes my boy cat, appropriately named Einstein, will find a bit of cat hair on the floor and tries to eat it. Today he found a clump of hair that we hadn't picked up after brushing him and tried to eat the thing - it was the size of a baseball.

So I painstakingly washed my car the other day. I scrubbed it and got all the road grime and leftover salt residue off. It was shiny and pretty again and I squeegied the windows and didn't leave streaks. Came home and it rained two hours later. >:

One night at dinner we were discussing cheese and how one of our favorite restaurants offers Cheese Whiz as an option. I said Cheese Whiz is disgusting and I would never eat anything named after a bodily function. We then spent the rest of the meal trying to figure out what other food(s) are named after a bodily function...so far we have only come up with shiitake mushrooms.

Found a new super fun website that has now become our fav: www.mylifeisaverage.com
Enjoy.

Home Alone

The kids are at a concert and I get the house all to myself! Yay! Although what do I do with a quiet empty house? Clean of course! How lame is that?! I don't sit and enjoy the quiet, I clean. I need to get a life...

The kids are a little sad about their concert though. The concert is at Rockettown which is a music venue started by Michael W Smith. It's also an indoor skateboard center but it happens to be in the wrong area. They are tearing it down to make room for a new convention center. There is a lot of controversy surrounding the new convention center and now my kids are part of the opposition. They are going to tear down a music venue that never has tickets over $25 and is geared for ages 21 and under and is a dry venue. Hopefully Michael W Smith will reestablish this one of a kind venue in a different building...

We have really enjoyed the Olympics. Each time we turn it on there is something really cool going on. We got to see Sean White win and do the amazing McTwist and we saw some Snowboard Cross which is the coolest thing ever! We got to see the women's short track speed skating wipe outs and a few good skiing wipe outs as well. We haven't watched much but what we've seen has been awesome. We also got to hear the network miss the language censor of Sean White's coach. %^@!*# :)

I wasn't going to type much tonight, but I'm trapped. I have a cat on each side of me snuggling against my legs. It's the craziest thing because they are both laying the exact same way. They are also making my legs really warm. The warmth of the cats combined with the warmth of the computer is making me really uncomfortable not to mention the fact that I can't move without disrupting them so my rear is getting a little sore. What I don't understand though is why my cats think that snuggling is putting their butt against me.

My Car Won't Let Me Be A Ninja

For the last month my son has not had a full week of school due to the weather. What's really crazy is that he would miss like one or two days for not feeling well and then the weather would turn bad giving him even more days off. It's going to seem like torture having to go a full 5 days in a row once the weather lets up.

Last week it was SUPER dooper cold but I was able to unlock all the car doors and open them to take Devan to school. So what's the problem you ask...the little mechanism that is triggered by the door handle to let me open the door and keeps the door closed didn't want to work. It let me open the door but then job over, it was done. "You want the door closed, hold it closed yourself cuz I'm cold so I'm done." Okay, I tell you what - ow! Wrists were not meant to be contorted in that manner and then hold a car door closed while you are driving! After I dropped Devan off I decided to give it one more try to see if the mechanism was done giving me attitude. AAAAHHHHH (that was an angel chorus in case you didn't know) it worked! Happy, happy, joy, joy!!! I was very glad because I was getting on the freeway, oops, interstate in a block...that would have been weird trying to hold the door closed going 70+ mph. Not to mention that fact that my wrist would have gotten stuck in that crazy contortion and I probably would not have been able to use that hand at work all day. Like when you carry a heavy grocery bag for a long time and your fingers are curled around it for so long you can't uncurl them....you know what I mean.

I do love my car, it's great. It runs, it has a crack free windshield and new tires and it's paid for. Best of all, it has 007 on the license plate. How can I not love my car? I treat it nice .....and yet it still gives me grief..grrrr...like when it is cold and wet and the weak front locks won't work. The driver's side doesn't like to open on cold wet days. Maybe it does this when it hasn't gotten to drive anywhere fun or interesting in a while. hmmm. Most days the passenger side likes to copy the driver's side (it can never come up with it's own ideas, but always along for the ride - hee, hee) but the back door is my friend. The back door (not really a hatch back or tail gait so not quite sure what to call it) will always open for me, much love to the not tailgate door! so I end up crawling the entire length of my car, over the back seat, and between the front seats to get seated and start the car - this repeated maneuver has lead me to a deeper understanding of myself and my inability to be an acrobat...or a ninja. While I'm not sure I ever wanted to be a Ninja, just knowing I really wouldn't be successful at it makes me kind of sad that I can't be one. I wonder who is entertained more by me trying to crawl through the car in my heels and work clothes, my car or my neighbors...

Random observation - we have a lingering Christmas decoration - the mistletoe that the kids duct taped above the entry to the kitchen is still there. eeee, hee, hee, it's almost as if it's saying "kiss the cook!"

Snow Parts

It's snowing! We had 5 1/2 inches two weekends ago and now its snowing again! Love it! So far we have about and inch and a half. And I don't need to be a part of the milk and bread phenomenon that happens here. The kids are out playing in the snow tonight. From what I understand, instead of making a snowman, they are going to make a snow phallus. Normally I say that you gotta love the south (the bread/milk thing) but in this case with the snow obscenities all I can say is you gotta love teenagers.

I got a small chance to play tour guide this weekend. You know I love that almost as much as I love having visitors and especially bestest friends from Oregon. Too bad it was super dooper cold so we kept the outside activities to a minimum. Of course then they leave and get back to 55 degrees and sunny...and we get snow. All in all, I think I win!!! Fun weekend with friend then snow...yep, I win!

To make up for not updating this for so long I will share some of my "not so stellar" moments:

I was talking to my friend (we do not have a land line, just our cell phones) and I had to leave to go pick up Devan. I walked out the door still talking and had to come back into the house to search for my phone. I couldn't find it on the table or on the sofa next to where I had been sitting or on my bathroom counter and I started to panic. I began telling my phone that I couldn't find my phone when I realized, yes, the phone I was missing was the one I was speaking into...

Devan and I went to see a movie in a REALLY crowded movie theater. We got our seats and about half way into the movie I had to go to the restroom. I definitely couldn't wait until the movie got over. We were directly in the middle of the theater for optimum viewing and sound quality. Oh, tummy, hang on, I will get you out of here... I race out of the theater and make it to the restroom. Back into the dark theater where we are viewing a dark movie and oh, crap...where did we sit? I go up the stairs to where I think we are sitting and I can't see Devan. I try calling his name but he can't hear me. I squat in the aisle waiting for a well lit scene so I can see but to no avail. There is a guy on the end that lets me use his cell phone when I realize, I don't have Devan's number memorized.... I squat in the aisle a little longer and finally just risk it and go into the aisle of the guy who let me use his phone. Yay!!! I'm right! I found my seat! Of course I made Devan wait til the credits were almost over before I would leave so nobody would recognize me...just in case. Yeah, I got lost in the movie theater.

Rock Star Hair

Before...

...After!!

Doesn't he look good :)

Quick Update

Christmas was great and New Years was nice.

I know you are all dying to know...the winner of the ugly ornament contest was my mom with a pine cone fish. Pics will be posted later.

We had a blizzard here. Yes, the white death has descended upon middle TN. Schools were closed and work let out early. Stores ran out of bread and milk. Chaos and panic ensued! ...All for a half inch of snow. You gotta love the south!!!!