Happy Christmas

Hello All -

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Now stop ignoring your family to read my blog...

Hugs

Work, Work, Work

For those of you not retired...my job is better than yours! Nyah, nyah! We had carolers come sing to us at work! It was so fun. They come around every year I guess. Our lobby has great acoustics and the 2nd and 3rd floors have a sort of balcony that overlooks the lobby so we just watched them over the balcony. It was a barbershop quartet and they sang a couple Christmas songs then sang a Barbershop Quartet song and then a couple more carols. It was really exciting and they were really good!

This weekend is all about work though. The kids have a job working for Karen affixing gift cards to the backing. Most gift cards can be affixed by a machine but the way these cards are, they have to be very exact to line up with the backing properly. Machine affixed cards don't line up as nicely. They have 5000 to do. I told them I would help them and they could keep the money so we/they only have 1500 more to do by Monday.

I have work to do as well. There is a project at work that we are trying to get this HUGE report cleaned up by the end of the year. It will take me a long time but I could use the hours so I'm not complaining at all. This is something I can work on in the evenings and I've done a few hours today already.

Tomorrow is another story. Tomorrow I actually have to go in to work. It is payroll week and we are working tomorrow so we don't have to work a 15+ hour day on Monday. We have to get payroll done in one day less than we normally have. My first check after the new year will be really nice. :) We won't have all the distractions of the normal phone calls and emails so it should go fairly smoothly and I'm anticipating it being a really productive day. Besides, the kids can finish their card job while I'm at my job. Luckily a few people are bringing treats tomorrow so that always makes for a better mood in the office. Plus, we are doing Secret Santa's and I have been extra sneaky and a few times I have bought a package of some little Christmas item like pencils or cute drinking straws with snowmen and Santa's on them and given one to everybody! Before I left on Friday I put a mini yo-yo in everyone's stocking. We are a sneaky bunch in our department. We don't have offices, we have cubicles well, more like cubbies, the walls are tall but no door and we are all in a big giant room with central printers in the middle. The stockings are in the middle too but yet during the day, somehow someone will get a gift in their stocking and yet nobody saw anyone put anything in them. It's crazy that we can all be at our desks working and not see someone go over and put something in a stocking. I'm not sure which is scarier, that we are so good at being sneaky or that we are so unobservant when we're working.

Color Palette

Jordan LOVES LOVES LOVES these cookies that require you to add red food coloring to half the dough. We were out of red but still wanted the cookies to look festive so decided to use green. Of course the green was dried up so we created green with blue and yellow.

Remember how I like to sometimes use this blog as a means to teach you something. Well, please use my mistakes as a lesson learned. What is the lesson we are learning today...

green cookie dough does NOT look festive - it looks like snot!

Happy Kristi Equation

Taking the kids to the mall and getting a parking spot immediately + purchasing a couple amazing presents; one big item at an exceptionally awesome sale price x intentionally tripping a guy zig zagging in front of me at the mall / begin making a couple gifts and realizing they are actually working out + thinking of fabulous gifts to make a couple other people with items I already have on hand + (making Christmas cookies - realizing I only have three gifts left to buy)

All that is really starting to get me in the Christmas spirit. Maybe now I will be motivated to decorate...

Ready for Christmas

We are ready for Christmas - we have our stockings hung up and the mistletoe. Mind you the kids hung these up. Oh, and they used duct tape to hang the mistletoe! classy

I actually feel like I have accomplished something. I found one of my friends on facebook. He is elusive and didn't have a photo so I couldn't find him until I found out his email. I finally got his email and found him that way...only to discover he does have a photo posted now.

Fun new website to share:

www.1000awesomethings.com

Search for entry 989! Its the funniest thing ever! Well, aside from my book. I'm reading Bonk - The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. It's by the same lady who wrote Stiff - The Secret Lives of Cadavers. Bonk is hilarious and had me laughing out loud at work the other day. She referred to the penis as a boomerang but was quick to point out that if you hurl a detached penis it will in fact NOT return to you. It was interesting trying to explain in work appropriate terminology why I was laughing. For those of you who have ever heard of the "mile high club" well, she has introduced a scientific version of that - the 20 inch club. That's how high an MRI machine is. Let your mind wander with that...

Time for Some Music

Christmas music that is! Frosty the Snowman and Bing Crosby and Trans-Siberian Orchestra and The Little Drummer Boy and I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas. It's also time for Elf and A Christmas Story and Home Alone and all those other fabulous Christmas movies. Yay! Plus, I get to start baking. Happy Happy Joy Joy! I love making holiday treats!

Hope you all enjoyed Black Friday without injury and were able to get your items with nary a tug-o-war over the last one.

We are busy here cleaning and rearranging to be able to put up our Christmas decorations. I cannot put up the decorations if the house is messy so I do almost a spring cleaning and get in all the nooks and crannies before I decorate. I've actually got four boxes of books on my floor that the kids need to go through to see if we want to sell any then I will take them to the storage unit. I need to make room in the storage closet on my patio for the empty decoration boxes.

So we tried a new church last week and it seems that every time we do, they have communion which is a little awkward your first time there. Well, service went along and we liked it and decided we would try it some more and then the pastor of 18 years - RESIGNS! AWKWARD!!!! So while he reads his resignation letter then a board member explains the process of finding a new pastor and they pray over the leaving pastor and people around us are crying, we just had to sit there because there wasn't any inconspicuous way to sneak out. Did I mention it was AWKWARD?

My mom's cousin and her family are small business owners so they are up to date in regards to politics. I have a more cavalier attitude because I am just a small fish and don't feel my little opinion matters much. I usually get frustrated about the way things are going but again, being the small fish, feel pretty powerless to effect change. Due to this feeling of inadequacy I typically don't follow or even bother to educate myself on the current political topics. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's apathy like mine that have gotten us where we are now...blah, blah, I've heard it all and have probably chastised myself for it much more strongly than you will. I'm not telling you this to tick you off or make you mad at me. I'm just giving you a little background as to why I shy away from political talk. Karen and Greg and I were talking politics brought about because of the health care issue which stemmed from Jordan and Devan's college and career goals. A sort of backdoor entry into the health care field is biological engineering which is the way Jordan is leaning. If she decides not to go into health care there are plenty of jobs out there and she isn't stuck just going into teaching or having to go directly into practicing medicine. With the political talk they told me they went to march on Washington DC. The march was not about the health care reform but about out of control government spending. Now there is something I can get on board about! Bail out schmail out - where's my money? Who's bailing me out? Who is holding congress accountable for their overspending? Isn't that supposed to be us? How can we let them know that we don't like the way they are spending our tax dollars and take away the power that the special interest groups and lobbyists have over Congress? Throw them all out. Yep, throw them out and start clean. Get some fresh ideas and new blood in there. http://www.throwthemalloutamerica.com/

I'm not telling you what to do, I just like to post things that are going on in my life and things I find interesting or things that I think many of you will find interesting or will enjoy. Some posts are educational and some are silly. Most of you probably don't even click on the links I post to watch the videos or look up the cool things I reference like animusic (okay, if you didn't look it up, you seriously need to -its just super cool). To each his own but if you stick with me kid, you just might learn something....like that Jesus works for my apartment complex and I have his signature (on the Christmas card they sent us). I wonder if he is a carpenter...

The Countdown Begins

I am totally jones-ing to listen to Christmas music but I will not break the rule - No Christmas music or movies before Thanksgiving! Some of the radio stations have already begun the 24/7 Christmas playlist and we have had to stop going to Kroger (Safeway of the South) since they are playing the music. I love the music and the movies and the decorations but give Thanksgiving its due! It deserves to be recognized and honored too.

I am doing really well in my popularity contest. I have gotten 4 Thanksgiving Dinner invites. I am staying in town since I have to work on Black Friday so no trip to Chicago. Sorry Keely and Oz. I'm pouting just a little about having to work that day. I haven't worked the day after Thanksgiving for 16 years. And of course it's payroll week so we have to be there to answer questions for the facilities. Two other people from work invited me and the kids over. One would be kinda fun and one I am crazy for not accepting since I have a huge crush on him and he is the one being deployed soon. But, we decided (they didn't actually give us a choice) to spend Thanksgiving with my mom's cousin and family, the Groves. It's nice and simple and just fun to get together. Plus, these are the ones who end up singing after our meal. They have a fun tradition of where we all write 3 things we are thankful for and 1 thing we are not thankful for. We put them all in a bowl and then draw out four items to read and then try to guess who wrote what. They are not big sports fans so its a little more fun for us since we play games and talk and enjoy each others company instead of trying to see how much we can eat and who can stay awake the longest in front of the football games.

I had dinner with one of my mom's aunts - Aunt Lois and she told me she was dead. Well, according to the Social Security Office she is. And just so you know, it's a lot easier to die than to be resurrected. Oh, and the Social Security Office does care. They will send you a condolence card/letter when you die. Nearly a month after her "death" she is still trying to get fully resurrected. She is nearly there. She once again has medicare so she can get her medicine which is very important and she got to meet the helpful people at the Social Security Office who thanked her for coming in and for not being a Zombie. Okay, they didn't think she was a Zombie, but she is kinda pale and she does have a lot of wrinkles, so she could resemble one. A sweet little smiling Zombie that uses a cane to walk. Those are the most dangerous kinds. :) I gave her a big hug and told her that I was glad she wasn't a Zombie.

There's Just Something About A Man In Uniform

I know, it's about time. But look how handsome he is. Wasn't it worth the wait? (that was a rhetorical question) For those of you who haven't seen my handsome boy in so long - he's the farthest left looking awfully cute and tall.

Oh The Weather Outside Is...

BEAUTIFUL!!! Nya, nya!!

Hope you all had a safe Friday the 13th. A day free of black cats crossing your paths. A day free of tall ladders that you had to go under. A day free of freak accidents. A day free of abnormal activity. A day free of paranormal activity. A day free of having to knock on wood. A day free of throwing salt over your shoulder. A day free of breaking mirrors. A day free of guys named Jason wearing hockey masks with machetes.

Happy Veteran's Day

Many of our companies facilities have gotten recognition for being a military friendly employer. Veteran's Day is one of our holidays. Of course, since our facilities are open everyday some people may have to work on the holiday. Count me as one of them. Actually, count our whole department. This week happens to be payroll week so we didn't get the day off. We did have bagels in honor of our vets. One of my friends at work is going to be deployed soon. Well, maybe soon. I don't really know. He can't tell us when. It will just be a surprise (not a surprise that makes you smile) when we come in one day and he's not there. I'm hoping he will get to stay through the holidays but who knows. I guess working at one of our facilities is a bit like the military since you still have to be in uniform and everyday is business as usual - holiday or not.

The upside to it? I have always wanted to be able to write to someone in the military. Yeah, yeah, I know there are groups that could get me the name of someone to write to, but who wants to write to a stranger? Not me, I want to be able to encourage and cheer up someone I know. Selfish of me? Duh! Of course it is. But the key there is me...because as everyone knows...it's all about me. :) Nothing like turning Veteran's day into a day all about me...

One final thing to all you veterans...

THANK YOU!

Can You Tell Me How To Get

How to get to Sesame Street? I wanna wish them a Happy Birthday!!! Today Sesame Street is 40! That is impressive. I think almost everybody I know can quote a Sesame Street skit or saying. It's amazing to think of all the things we have grown up with - or without. Neither me or my kids don't know a world without Sesame Street. Devan's first birthday cake was Ernie and a rubber duck because..."rubber ducky, you're the one. You make bath time lots of fun. Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you." Because of Ernie we had lots of rubber ducks around the house which is why Jordan likes them so much now. That is also how Devan got his nickname. Yes, Devan has a nickname. If you want to know, you will have to ask him. I'm not gonna tell you, but you know it can't be good since it was given to him from his loving sister when she was one year old. :)

Band is over - can I get a WHOOP, WHOOP!?! Devan is just as excited. Their last performance was on Halloween. They had a competition at Middle TN State University. When all the schools were done performing, the MTSU Marching Band came out and performed for all the students. It was really fun to see them. They were all in costumes as well. Some of the best ones were: Velma (from Scooby Doo), Taylor Swift and Kanye West, the dance team girls were all dressed in the Tom Cruise from Risky Business white men's dress shirt and white socks, the baton twirlers were all Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the snare drummers were all Mariachi guys with big ponchos, sombreros and thick heavy mustaches. They all looked great and it was just so much fun for the kids to see how it could progress. It was a really nice way to end the season.

There are some amazing videos on youtube. You need to do a search for animusic and watch a few of them. It's incredible. It's like nerdy science geeks made music from science. Google is or Yahoo search it or whatever but get to a video example of how animusic works and prepare to be amazed! DO IT - DO IT NOW!!!!!

Laundry, Laundry, and more Laundry

If my kids ever got their rooms completely clean I would probably have 18 loads of laundry!!! I've been cleaning all day laundry, vacuuming, laundry, dishes, laundry, recycling, laundry, errands, laundry. Can you see a pattern?

Band is almost over and I think Devan is glad. His grades are suffering and he is really struggling with his time management since the band practices more than the football team. That doesn't include competitions which typically last all day. They had to perform at the football game Friday night, get home late, sleep, get up and be back at the school ready to perform by 9:30 am and then practice a couple hours, get on the bus, drive 3 hours to Chattanooga, and perform. They got 3rd out of 10 in their class. This was the fun weekend though because they got to spend the night in Chattanooga then go the the aquarium for the afternoon. Dev and I went during the spring so it wasn't super fun for him. He did say that Horace and Boris were not there though. They were the ginormous beluga sturgeon that I posted in a previous blog.

To all of those in Oregon - Fffffttttttt :)- To you and your 70 degrees. It's cold here! At least the rain has gone and its sunny but I don't like it that way. When its cold it shouldn't be bright and cheerful - its deceiving! Plus, fall allergies are terrible here. Its just backwards I tell you.

The one good thing about this time of year...its almost time to start baking. Making cookies and deserts for the holidays is...(cue Maria VonTrapp)...one of my favorite things. I told everyone at work that they will probably end up hating me by the end of the holidays because they will probably gain 10 pounds from all the goodies I will be bringing in. They will have to fight Jordan for the candy cane shaped cookies. Dev and I are lucky to get two each out of the batch!

I forgot about you

Sorry, I was so preoccupied with life that I forgot to update this. :)

Good News!!!!! I am no longer a pedestrian!!!!!!!!! Yay! Now my pedestrian status is by choice only. Seriously water pumps are stinkin expensive.

I still have yet to get a good pic of Devan during a band performance. I was at his competition in Nashville and the water pump decided to kaput before I got home so had to get a tow. Lu-hu-huv the towing option on my insurance policy. Missed a fun day at the pumpkin patch due to temporary car death. So last weekend was another band performance but since didn't have car yet, couldn't go and didn't get to see him perform so fabulously that the band placed 1st overall! Next weekend they wrap it up, I think, so I may have to drive to Chattanooga to get pics of my little band boy.

So my friend deanna started a blog about her impending addition/remodel and her blog puts mine to shame. Luckily, I'm much more entertaining than her so what my blog lacks in aesthetics it makes up for in entertainment and amusement. :)- woo, look at me bustin chops!!!! best part is, she has to be good on hers and can't share her TRUE feelings because she is having NKC do the work and of course head honcho the K of NKC knows about and has read her pretty blog! Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee, hardy, har, har!

So I have attached two amazing videos to watch on youtube. What I really want to know is - who are these people and why don't I know anyone this fun? I never get invited to weddings like this! *pout, pout* And that guy is a fairly large guy but he's got some good moves!! Watch them both and ENJOY! (highlight the link and paste it into your browser if it won't connect directly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

and even better...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QujA8YYgTWU

Are you all freaking out yet?

Jordan's NOT going into witness protection but one of our conversation topics the other day was what we would change our names to if we had to go into witness protection. Actually, she didn't choose Penny. Come to think of it, she didn't really choose a different name...wait, she didn't even really take part in the conversation! Teenagers suck! I had a really fun conversation by myself though! Technically it wouldn't be a conversation it would be a monologue. Bah! Well, I'm going to pretend that the kids were involved since they were in the same room and I was talking to them even if they didn't answer - so it was a really fun and interesting conversation after all. :)


"Our whole universe was in a hot dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started - wait! The earth began to cool, the auto tropes began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, we built the wall, they built the pyramids, math, science, history, unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang. BANG!" So that is the theme song to our fav sitcom: The Big Bang Theory. It is about physicists who work at a university, two of whom are roommates (Leonard and Sheldon) and live across the hall from a really hot girl. The girl doesn't understand most of what the guys say since it is scientific speak and they are socially awkward. The girls name is Penny.


Jordan is taking a physics class and the other day she was getting really frustrated after a long reading assignment. She heaved a big sigh, looked at me and said she felt like Penny after talking to Sheldon because she has no idea what she just read.


I was reading this book that referenced Kevin Bacon which I love because it makes me think of the saying "six degrees of Kevin Bacon." Someone at some point in time warped the phrase six degrees of separation into the Kevin Bacon reference. It's funny since the guy seems to be everywhere. He is in tons of movies and is in a band with his brother and is married to an actress so I don't doubt that within 6 handshakes any one of us could be shaking hands with Kevin Bacon. So then I keep reading and then the book mentions six degrees of Kevin Bacon!!! Yay, so what if its for teenagers, I have to now love the book! Then the other night we were watching Bones and they said "six degrees of Kevin Bacon"!!!!!!! Okay, officially love that show forever now! I absolutely love, love, love it when people have heard of or know of or can respond appropriately to those abstract and random items like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon. I wonder how Kevin Bacon feels about the saying?


Another completely random item but funny and worth sharing...there is a paint brush in the litter box. Not sure how it happened but was really strange to see.



Here's the pic I promised so long ago. I had a hard time saving it then getting it to attach from the original file. It's not great since it was taken with my phone and it's not the type of phone meant to take good pics. I kept taking pics of myself and sending them to the kids all summer though. I wanted to make sure they remembered what I look like.

Jordan's witness protection name

So if Jordan ever had to go into witness protection we will change her name to Penny. Ssshhhh, don't tell anyone.

And the newest band member is...

DEVAN BALDWIN!!!! Mr. Devan Baldwin has joined the high school marching band. He is playing the bass guitar so he doesn't actually march and do the formations, he has a generator and speakers so he is in the "pit." He just stands in a row of kids facing the crowd playing ginormous instruments that can't be maneuvered in the grass. He gets to wear a dorky marching band uniform and hates it because as all band uniforms do...it gives him a major wedgie. He is doing great and I was all set to take pictures Friday night and the threat of rain put a big WHOA NELLY on it all. The band still played but they didn't go on the field so they weren't in their uniforms. His best friend Shawn (super skinny) plays the tuba. He is the one who got Dev started. The band leader mentioned something about a wanting a bass player and Shawn pipes up that his friend plays the bass and within a week Dev decided to do it. He is having fun and working hard. For those of you who have seen the American Pie movies...don't worry, I have already addressed that issue and told him that the first time I ever here a story start with "...this one time at band camp..." NO MORE MARCHING BAND for him!!!!

They play at the games on Friday nights and then they have competitions on Saturdays. At the away games they still do the whole formations thing and everything - they treat it like a mini competition between the two schools. He was mortified at his actual first game performance though. It was a home game and they announced all the band members and then they announced that there was a new member of the band and it was his first time in a band and his first performance with the CHS band and will everybody give a big welcome to... If ever my son wanted to be invisible - it was then!!!

I don't have TB

Today I am no longer a temp! I passed my drug test and TB test and even though I didn't shave and the doctor had to touch my hairy legs, I passed my physical. I get to sit through training all day but then sometime next quarter I get to tour one of the facilities. I get to go to jail! ...and I'm kind of excited about it! :D

This has been a crazy end of summer and since I'm updating this on my lunch break you will have to wait to find out. (I should write for the news don't you think? Like one of those teasers they give right before a commercial or during mid-day to make you want to watch the regularly scheduled news.)

The reason I didn't update during August...my stupid neighbor secured their internet! No more freeloading for me, I'm gonna have to pay and I REA-HE-HE-LY don't want to!!!!! So you had to wait.

A huge CONGRATULATIONS to my friend Pavlina. Yay!!! Yippee!!! **insert Snoopy dance cuz its fun and seems appropriate for celebrating** She just graduated and is now a what? licensed or certified or something...Acupuncturist! Anybody need acupuncture email me and I will get you in touch with her. :) (Pav, hows that for a free plug?)

I leave you with the promise that I will update this more than once every couple months. Later tater.

SHE'S ALIVE!!!

Yes, I am still alive and kicking. I have been keeping rather busy but nothing really notable. I have been spending lots of quality time on my deck with a good book (series). I have been creating a social life for myself and going out with friends.

You know how they say crumbs and such will attract cockroaches so to keep the kitchen really clean during the warm weather? Well what about sofas? I am SHOCKED my sofa is not crawling with bugs! I lifted the cushions the other day and realized there is enough food and crumbs in there to feed a person for at least a day! Of course all of it was in the corner that Devan likes to sit in! Imagine that. The really scary thing is that I vacuum under there at least every other month! Ew.

The kids are working for my uncle again this summer. Not having much fun since they are the only kids. Plus, my uncle's girlfriend is out of control with the whining and the complaining. She is making everyone miserable. The upside is that for a reason to get out my uncle took my daughter driving! She told me she was so nervous she nearly peed herself. She drove his big truck that he hauls the trailer with and she even went out on the road. She was very proud of herself because she didn't hit anything! :)

My sweet boy will be coming back soon and I have a little more deep cleaning to do before he comes back and invades my house with his BOY-ness and boy-mess. He said he has grown more this summer so I am anxious to see if any of his school clothes from last year will fit.

I will have some pics to post soon. I can't remember if I put any up of Jordan b-day but I will. Plus, I actually have a decent one of me. I know, but I figure you all need something to look forward to and what better way to keep you in utter anticipation than a photo of me...

Hugs.

Tastey Treat

I was sitting on the back patio the other night reconnecting with an old friend on the phone and didn't realize I was being eaten alive! Come to think of it, I don't think it happened then because I did have a small citronella candle burning...anyway, when I woke up the next morning I had 7 yes, seven mosquito bites! That mosquito better have died from an O.D. of my tasty blood! Let me tell you, getting an itchy mosquito bite on the bottom of your toe - not fun! Luckily I had some Benadryl itch relief lotion that I am applying to my toes and feet and ankles and elbows and wrist. Of course it didn't stay in one centralized location, it had to be adventuresome and try out some other areas. I can't imagine that the blood tastes any different depending on body part location. Unless...maybe mosquitoes are smarter than we think...

There are lots of wild bunnies around our apartments. I know there is more than one but I still refer to all of them as "the bunny" as if there is only one. And for some odd reason I always have to point it out or say something when I see it. Almost like a very mild tick or something you know like some people have to touch certain things. Maybe I should look into this a little more or maybe I won't and whoever is in the car with me will have to accept it as one of my many "charming" quirks. :) Back to the bunny. I haven't seen the bunny (any of them) for quite a while and I was thinking it was possibly due to the heat, that they were staying in the trees where it is cooler. Nope, I haven't seen the bunny because as I was driving home I looked down into the abandoned tennis court and saw three medium sized red foxes. Foxes is grammatically correct, but it just doesn't sound right. I looked it up in case you were wondering. The foxes were playing between the edge of the court and the tree line. I pulled over (so I wouldn't hit anything) and watched them. I REALLY wished I had my camera! They were beautiful and one of them stared me down - which I think was to figure out if I was gonna hurt them or not.

I did it! I finally finished reading David Copperfield! It took me about a year of picking it up, setting it aside, picking it up again. It's a hard read and it's a slow read and the language gets very flowery in parts. It was a good book though. Overall predictable but the twists and turns it takes keep it interesting. I think I will hold off before starting Moby Dick.

3 Squares

Have you ever seen that toilet paper commercial with the red bears and they are talking about how kids always take too much of everything? The kid unrolls a really long length of toilet paper to wipe with and the big bear comes along and rolls it back up so there are only 3 squares for the bear to use. My question is this - seriously? Only 3? Kleenex tissues are bigger than 3 squares of toilet paper!!! Now I have this new three ply t.p. that I use and love but even then, I cannot limit myself to only three little squares, it just doesn't seem big enough to absorb all it needs to absorb. Even for the little piddle jobs from a big sneeze that snuck up on you or that little dribble from a person sneaking up on you...3 is not enough! 3 ply is good, 3 squares is just plain miserly.

Speaking of miserly...I'm dyin' here!!! It's been over 90 degrees for over two weeks now. The heat index is actually over 100! Since it's just me and the cats, I don't wanna pay a lot for electric so I'm leaving my air on 80 and it's just hot. I would prefer it around 75 but don't want that huge electric bill. It hasn't been getting that cool at night even, its been mid 70's at night so it really doesn't help cool the house at all to leave the windows open. We are supposed to finally get a break though, the humidity is supposed to decrease and we should have a couple days in the mid 80's next week. Woop, woop!!! It just makes me wonder what the rest of summer is going to be like since it's already so hot for a long stretch of time. ... :(

At work there is another Kristi in our department! She is actually Christie but last initial is B. so we can't go by Kristi B and Christie whatever cuz we are both B's. We are trying to figure out like a nickname (acceptable in the professional world) and neither of us have one. It was suggested that since my middle name is Lynn maybe I could go by Kristi Lynn. I told them they could call me that if they wanted but I probably wouldn't answer. It would really southernize me though. I mean there are tons of people here that have Lynn as the last part of their name. My neighbor is Nancylynn and there is MaryLynn so Kristi Lynn would actually fit right in! hee, hee, I didn't actually mean to rhyme but I'll take it! :) I declined on the Kristi Lynn and just told them to refer to me as Baldwin. I would constantly think I was in trouble if everyone kept calling me Kristi Lynn. Not good for my confidence while I'm still a temp! Plus, I might be tempted to start using southern slang like y'all and start calling a shopping cart a buggy and start eating catfish and hush puppies and drinkin sweet tea. Yee, doggie!!

Mother Nature's glitter

It's very hot and still fairly dry so the fireflies are out. I love fireflies! They are such a fun freakish bug. I mean seriously, who doesn't love a bug that lights up?! Its fun to go out after dark and just look and see all these little random twinkles. It's almost as if your eyes are playing tricks on you. You know, if you had been drinking a lot then went out and saw all the fireflies, it would really mess with your brain. You would have to wonder if it was the bugs or the alcohol. Oh - the combination of both might just make for a really sparkly blurry evening!!

There is a new law around here. This is the reason there are jokes and stereotypes about the south...a law has passed that you may now carry a gun into a restaurant. Now it is still illegal in "bars" but if you were eating with the family at Denny's by all means, we welcome your firearm!!!! Even places that serve alcohol like TGI Friday's allow them. Actually it got voted down but the governor approved it. Guns and food are a go! Yeah, I'd like to order the fried catfish and you got extra napkins, I'm just gonna clean my gun while I'm waiting. I imagine that customer service will improve since half the restaurant could be armed...

Just so you know...it's really boring with both kids gone. zzzzzzzzzz!

Summertime excitement

Yeah, I don't really have any...my kids are away for the summer, it's too hot to do anything here, the kids took the computers with them (so I'm at Kinko's) and I don't have cable.

My trip to Oregon was great! It was nice seeing everyone. :) Wish I could have fit more visits in but the weekend was all about the birthdays. My mom, Jordan, her bff Mackenzie, and deanna - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y'ALL!!!! Some milestone birthdays in there so it was packed full of fun.

There are two people I really wanted to see but ran out of time - sorry I missed you Howard and Pavlina. I promise if we are in town at the same time - I will make time for you. I can sleep when I'm dead right?!

Well, this is short and sweet cuz it's costing me money to keep you informed of my super boring life.

Take care. Will write more later (but probably not often this summer).

What's that smell?

There was this horrible smell in my kitchen. I couldn't get rid of it. I scrubbed everything and it was still there. I finally was able to narrow down the area which was around the fridge and the cupboard. I looked in all the cabinets and cupboards and still couldn't find it so I finally came to the conclusion that something must have either died under my fridge or in the wall. It was nasty. I tried to avoid that area but as I was making burgers I grabbed the garlic that lives on our counter - it was hollow...??? Is that right I think to myself. The skin on the outside was totally intact but the inside had spoiled. THAT was the smell!!!! Petrified garlic does NOT smell good.

We are getting ready to go on vacation and I'm very excited to see everyone!

I'm a little nervous about leaving my cats though. They will be locked up inside the entire time and they aren't used to that. I am having someone come over to freshen their water and empty the litter boxes but otherwise they will be all alone. They are going to be traumatized. They would be more traumatized if I took them to a boarding facility so I guess I just have to trust they will be fine just a lot more needy when I get back.

Yay for a busy long weekend to visit everyone!!!! :)

I'm Free!!!!!!!!!

SCHOOL IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPY!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D SUMMER TIME!!!!!!!!

Jordan

Our First Tick Encounter

They are icky and I don't like them. They freak me out. Any bug that will embed itself in you is just wrong! Luckily I caught this one very early and it didn't have much of a chance to latch on. I did pull it out with tweezers and it came out fairly easily. Being paranoid about lime disease and stuff I made sure to wipe the area with disinfectant. Now it just looks like a typical bug bite. Still, its icky looking down and seeing this bug sticking out of your skin knowing it will gorge itself on your blood. It's like a mini vampire that attaches itself to you.

At work we all take our lunch at the same time so on Fridays we typically go out as a group and go to Five Guys for hamburgers and massive amounts of french fries. We have dubbed it Five Guys Friday. Last night I was watching one of the nighttime news shows like Nightline or something and they were doing a day in the life at the White House. They followed President Obama around as well as some of his main advisers and stuff. They showed how he will take an unscheduled undisclosed trip out of the white house and that night he was walking around asking people if they wanted a burger and then he went to Five Guys!!!! You know I was totally excited thinking I am SSOOO cool now because I eat at the same burger chain as the President! :)

I have a new euphemism for going to the restroom. When we leave at work we usually let someone know that we will be right back or that we are going to the restroom or some sort of heads up that we are stepping away for just a moment. Yesterday as one of the girls was coming out of the stall a guy walked into the women's restroom, looked around, paused, then settled for going into a stall. The girl was so appalled that she didn't even have the presence of mind to tell him that he can find a urinal in the men's room. Now I know where to go to meet men at my company - go to the restroom! That's what I tell them now when I step away to visit the restroom, that I'm going to meet some men. ;)

The Real Update

We went to the Renaissance Festival last weekend. It was SSSOOOOO much fun!!!! Way more fun than I expected. I figured there would be a lot of weirdo's there, way more than I encounter at the carnival. Okay, the carnival isn't so much weirdo's as more of your fun loving white trash who like to ride greasy rides and eat terrible overpriced food and win ridiculous prizes at games that are designed to make them lose. Sorry, got carried away with the carnival weirdo's. The Renaissance weirdo's are more of your geeky gamers and those with a flair for the dramatic. There were people in crazy costumes from the Queens to squires and trolls and fairies and knights and pirates and elves and ogres and gypsies and of course the token geisha. The geisha was strange since it doesn't seem Renaissance-ish but it was a great costume. :) There was knife throwing and axe throwing and ninja star throwing, there was a pirate maze, there was archery, and there was a mug slide - you slide an old fashioned pewter mug down a bar. There were two rides that were manually operated since they wouldn't have gas powered items back then. There were of course vendor booths with wood working and blacksmith items and leather works. I was extremely tempted to buy a set of Elf Ears! We saw some great shows too! I went to a comedy show by a drunken tattoo-less pirate. Very funny! They did a live chess match and they would sword fight as a challenge. Of course the sword fights were choreographed so it definitely looked fake, not as much as professional wrestling, but it was still entertaining to watch plus their costumes were way better than pro wrestlers and even though it was hot out and they were wearing corsets, there wasn't nearly as much sweat!







The highlight of the day -- JOUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!! Jousting is amazing! It's so exciting and a little bit scary. I found myself getting scared for the guys as they were starting each joust. They ride Clydesdale's which are so big anyway so when they fall, it's a hard fall! Plus they have a full suit of armor so the added weight makes the fall that much harder.

I have a bunch of pictures cuz it was seriously so much fun~
















Full suits of armor.
How can they see?!?!?!?!?




They get points for a hit, breaking the tip, shattering the pole, and knocking the opponent off. I think they should get extra points just for showing up in those heavy looking suits of armor!


Major points for the other guy (our assigned team to cheer for) - he knocked him off! Yay for our team, bad for the guy on the ground! It was such a hard hit that it dented his armor! It took him a while to get up and not just because you need help getting up when your wearing a suit of armor!!! Ouch!

The Renaissance Festival in Oregon isn't til September but I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to people watch or likes to get out and wander among the crowd of crazies! You will have the time of your life! And if you dress up - you better send me pics!!!!!

Yay-Boo

Had a really fun weekend - Yay!

Haven't downloaded the pictures yet - Boo!

Had Monday off - Yay!

Worked until 11:15 last night - Boo!

My boss bought us pizza for staying so late - Yay!

Had to be at work at normal time this morning so got minimal sleep - Boo!

Devan's version -

School's out for summer - Yay!

Moms working and can't play chauffeur - Boo!



Will give a real update tomorrow - Yay!

It's warm and humid - Boo!

Had some tasty strawberry shortcake - Yay!

Warm weather and full tummy making me even more sleepy - Boo!

Gonna go to bed now - Yay!!!!!

The voice of Mickey Mouse

The guy who has been the voice of Mickey Mouse for the last 30 years has died. I think we should all dig into our boxes of keepsakes and pull out those personalized Mickey ears that we got on our first trip to Disneyland and wear them tomorrow in remembrance.

I know there is a large population of Amish in Pennsylvania. What I didn't know is that they drive Fords and disobey the posted speed limit! Maybe they weren't Amish, but two guys in straw hats with facial hair similar to the Amish style drove right past me in a Ford Taurus. They were speeding down the freeway - AMISH ROADTRIP!!! Maybe they just didn't want to stop so they could stay in the air conditioning.

The downside to working

I don't get to watch Ellen anymore. She is hilarious and she finds the craziest things for example - a ride on cooler. For those long walks from the car to the perfect picnic spot or for those single parents who love to camp but can't haul around the heavy cooler...there is the riding cooler. Keep your cool drinks always by your (back)side! Toot, toot! Oh, and you can even get more and attach to the back and create a little cooler train!


Finals this week then school is out! WHERE DID THIS YEAR GO!?!?!?!?!?!?

Okay, I came across the yummiest recipe for meatballs. Simple, tasty, and healthy.

3 lbs ground turkey
1 cup onion, finely chopped
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 egg
1 cup bread crumbs, Italian style
1/2 cup Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, grated
1/4 cup pesto
1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon salt
2 teaspoons fresh ground pepper
1/2 lb fresh mozzarella, cut into 36 cubes

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a bowl mix ground turkey, chopped onion, minced garlic, egg, bread crumbs, Parm cheese, pesto, chopped parsley, milk, salt, and pepper. Form the turkey mixture into meatballs about 1 1/2 inch in diameter. Stuff a mozzarella cube into each meatball and seal the meat around the cheese so it can't leak out. Arrange on a nonstick baking sheet. (It works fabulous on the Silpat for those of you that one.) Bake for approx 30 minutes. You can flip them halfway through to brown more of the surface. Serve with a marinara dipping sauce or enjoy just plain or with your favorite pasta dish. These freeze well also.

Happy snacking.

New job jitters

I nearly burned down the place on my second day at my new job!!!!!!! Smoke was spewing out the disc drive! I had smelled a slight burning smell when I got in but thought it might have been the smell of the heat getting the morning chill off the building. It continued but since I was in right by it and nobody else said anything, I really thought the smell was just stuck in my nose. Finally someone else smelled it and I turned my back on my work area to talk to them when they saw smoke coming from behind me! It was only the power supply connector overheating so they replaced my comp and it was all fine. Luckily not enough smoke to make the sprinklers turn on! Phew, what a way to start a new job...ignore smoking computer - check; feel like a complete jackass - check, check! The good news is that they let me come back. :)

Now you all know that Jordan didn't get to see the cadaver and was SUPER disappointed. Well, she made up for it when they got to dissect cats. She did have a lot of fun with chicken wings too. I told her to squeeze the cats paw and make its claws pop out then ask her lab partner if she had an itch! hee, hee Then I told her that Devan had a cow in his room! The anatomy and physiology class got to dissect a cow!!!! Jordan said that would have been easier since she doesn't like cows (she thinks they are out to get her). I started cracking myself up talking about how cows will flip their tails to shoo away pesky flies and bugs and that it would be funny to find the muscle that controls the tail and swoosh it at classmates to shoo them away like pesky flies! How awesome would that be to swish a cow tail at some unsuspecting sole?! They are just standing there watching and learning about some cow part and flick, shoo you pesky fly aka classmate hogging the good view! Ok, I'm cracking up all over again...hee, hee, hee, hee

Gotta love a class that dissects a cow! Imagine showing up for class and there's a big dead bovine on a tarp in the middle of the room. I have this great mental picture of it lying on its back with it's legs straight up in the air!

Happy Mother's Day

To all the mom's I know...Happy Mother's Day!

You are fabulous women and your children are lucky.

Hugs!

Hit the Target

I woke up this morning to the loudest noise EVER!!! It was so loud I seriously thought our building was collapsing or at least a wall caved in. It woke me up so violently that I literally sat up in bed and was instantly wide awake. Once I discovered that we still had a roof and that our building hadn't fallen down around us, I realized it was a thunder clap. A huge forceful clap of thunder!

My daughter had the same 6th grade teacher that I did. He was my favorite teacher and I think he was Jordan's fav too. My son tells me that he got an email from Mr. Mulligan - he finished his quarter collection. When they began making the state quarters he began collecting them. Well, if he was my teacher and Jordans teacher, obviously he has been teaching a long time... He always said he would retire when he collected all the states. He sent out the email saying his collection is complete - I guess he is retiring. WLK is going to lose an amazing person when he does leave.

So I did something really stupid. Yeah, yeah, I know you are thinking "what else is new" or "what did you do now?" My son and I are in the car and there is a little gnat flying around. It's tiny but in my line of vision. I reach up to smash it but I make sure to use the back of my hand - don't wanna get finger smudges on my windshield. The stupid little bug is moving quickly so I reach up and smack the windshield with the back of my hand in a swift motion to get the bug. I hear a pop and realize that the exact spot that I hit...was the EXACT spot where I have a rock chip! The one rock chip in my windshield that didn't crack during the cold weather has now cracked because I SMACKED IT!!!! It now has 3 arms coming off of it, sort of making it look like a pinwheel. The other ones definitely look like they happened from the cold but how do I explain this one to the insurance company?! My son and I both had the same reaction which was a quick suck in breath and our eyes got big and our mouths hung open. I hadn't even made it out of the parking lot yet! ...AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET THE BUG!!!!!!!!

Bug Guts

As we are driving down the road there is a splat on the windshield. I look up and its a big bug that hit my windshield, no wait, its clear so it's a big rain drop. But wait, where did it come from, not a cloud in the sky, no cars nearby, and not going under an overpass. It has to be a bug, but it's clear. What sort of bug has clear bug guts?

Trivia fact of the day: There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar bill.

I'm pretty sure that by now you have all figured out that I like to make up words. I've been fairly selective what I've shared with you - only giving my good ones. Well, I have come up with the best word ever! No, really, it's the best - guyliner! Rock star guys and goth guys don't wear eyeliner, they wear.....GUYLINER! See, I told you, it's my best one yet.

These are Beluga Sturgeon. They are Horace and Borace and are HUGE! They weigh something like 150 lbs (if I remember right. Which is questionable since I'm getting so old.) I've never seen or even heard of Beluga Sturgeon but I'm thinking it would be awfully hard to land one of these suckers! Oh, we saw Horace and Borace at the aquarium in Chattanooga. The Rivers and Lakes exhibits were amazing but their ocean exhibits totally suck. Overrated and overpriced. I think that is the motto for any sort of tourist attraction in Tennessee. :)

Redneck Lingo

So I waited a little longer than normal to update a post because I was waiting for more of you to leave a comment on my daughters awesome update. She got her drivers permit...that's very cool!! Plus, she actually did a good job on the post. Better than I do sometimes. :) She's also correct - it can be rather boring updating this. hee, hee When something comes up that I want to remember to write about, I put it in the notepad function of my phone to reference later.

Two things I want to discuss today.

Kids are gross! Not what they say but bodily. I'm cleaning the bathtub/shower the other day and run across a dried shower booger. This got me thinking (okay, we are going into the crazy though process of Kristi here so keep up if you can...) I wonder if God made it so sex would be a little on the gross side - all the fluids and stuff, I mean, think about it - and then pregnancy is definitely full of "ew" factors and then there is the whole birth - blech!!! But truly, this is perfect because by the time you get over fluids and hemorrhoids and leaking and seepage, you are ready for stinky diapers and baby spit up. And you sort of ease into this as well, the first poops are rather mild and the spit ups are cute. By the time the poo is gag inducing, you are so used to the sour milk smell that has permanently taken up residence in your sinuses, it doesn't phase you at all. Compared to that, the continual flow of toddler snot getting smeared onto you whenever you get a loving hug seems like nothing and you even willingly wipe their nose on your shirt tail or pinch it off with your fingers only to transfer it to your pant leg. If only Mr. Levi knew what his jeans would endure... You know, the blue really does hide a multitude of sins. Anyway, by the time the kids get old enough to pick their own nose and begin the booger wall, we as parents are well equipped to deal with it. Granted, it doesn't make it any more enjoyable, but somehow its not as repulsive when it's your offspring. Or maybe it's just REALLY embarrassing for a parent so they don't talk about it. As I was cleaning the shower booger my thoughts also wandered to the "booger wall." I never did this as a kid and I have never discovered that my kids did this but I know it is common. One of the guys on the morning radio show I listen to had to scrape off and repaint their child's wall after discovering the dried boogers on their "booger wall." The thought of that made the shower booger a little less gross.

I'm not a big fan of Ebonics. No, I didn't axe you a question...I asked you a question! And it's not fustrated its frrrrustrated! Alright?! Everybody get it? It's A L R I G H T not...Aight! It's funny to me to see these suburban kids trying to be ghetto gangster and talking like that but today I saw the best one...a redneck trying to be ganster! Big Ford pickup truck, heavy duty grill on the front with words across the top of the windshield. Instead of something fitting like Built Ford Tough or even Cowboy Up, the guy with the cigarette in his hand hangin out the window has - 'Aight Then across his windshield!!!! Aight Then?! Seriously?! I truly think I have seen everything now. A wanna be ghetto redneck driving a work truck that automatically excludes him from ghetto standing with a phrase in Ebonics splattered across the windshield that most white people have a hard time saying anyway without taking into account his southern accent.

This weekend was really hot and I did spend time outside without managing to get sunburned! :) I got a hint of pink but for the amount of time outside...I consider it a skin protection success. Downtown Franklin had this fair type thing with lots of fun vendor booths and food and some rides. Of course there were a couple music stages and the local dance studios had performances. It was fun. I got some great craft ideas. There was a man walking around who looked like Abe Lincoln and then there was a big robot dude who looked like one of the Transformers. Both Devan and I were worn out by the time we got home even though it was only about a 4 block thing.

Happy Easter!!

Or rather happy late Easter since Mom's internet isn't working again so she hasn't updated this in a while. Then again even when it is working she usually doesn't update it often, but thats beside the point. Some good news is happening on my side of the continent though! I got my permit today finally. Yay!! Lol I'm happy. I had a bet going with my friend that I wouldn't get my permit before she got her licence and I won :D so haha on her! Anyways, now I'm starting to get why Mom doesn't update this often, it's very boring and I have just started. lol ack!

I am very irritated though. I don't remember if Mom told you all or not, but I am taking anatomy and physiology this year, and as a feild trip our class gets to go to OHSU to see a cadaver exibit. YAY!!! It is soo exciting! Everyone gets to go see a dissected cadaver. Everyone that is EXCEPT ME!!!!!!!!!! You have to be 16 to see the cadaver exibit! OHSU rules. I'M SOOOOOOOOO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I can go on the feild trip but I will have to wait out in the hall and won't get to see the cadaver!!! Which defeats the point in going since seeing the cadaver is the best part!!! I was sooo looking forward to it and now i'm ticked! No dead bodys for the 15 year old :( poop. It's like I'm being punished for being smart! Pftttttttt!! At least I don't have to do the assignment for it though :) thats nice.

Well thats all for now I'm bored :) gonna go review my french! I haven't done any in a year so I have been seeing how much I remember. heehee its very amusing.
Jordan :P

Okay, I've got something interesting for you to read

Finally. Seems like nothing interesting has been going on or else, I'm just preoccupied and don't feel like updating this in a creative way. Well, I will force myself since I have taken up the task of keeping you informed and entertained.

According to an article I read regarding companies thriving during this economy, the number 4 spot goes to...Condom Makers. Yep, safe sex is a profitable business! Here is what the article said, "Whether for at-home entertainment or to try to stave off the cost of a baby in trying times, condom sales rose 6 percent in January from the year before. 'If people don't have the money to go out to a fancy dinner or are looking to cut back, Trojan gives them some real affordable ways to stay in and make some great memories together,' Jim Daniels, Trojan's vice president of marketing, told USA Today." So to all of you having safe condom protected sex, thank you for keeping our economy stimulated.

I am reading the BEST book EVER!!!! It's called Stiff by Mary Roach. (That the previous paragraph seems connected to my book title is purely coincidental and was by no means a planned segwey. I actually just lucked into that play on words.) It's about the "curious lives of human cadavers." It's insightful and laugh out loud funny and yet in no way is it disrespectful. I'll give you a couple great quotes from the first chapter. "Cadavers are our superheroes." and my favorite..."Death. It doesn't have to be boring." I will be sending this book to my little brainiack. Her anatomy and physiology class gets to go on a field trip...to see cadavers! Totally cool!!! A little ew! ...but the cool definitely outweighs the ew! It's also a great opportunity since, as I've learned from my book, not many colleges still use a full cadaver.

THERE WAS A SUPERHERO IN PANERA! Devan and I went for lunch and as we are sitting there, this guy comes in. The guy is tall, sorta dorky, glasses, nerdish short hair that could be cool but isn't, wearing a suit, and seems like he would be athletic were he not a nerdy business guy. Like Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne rolled into one. He was the stereotypical superhero cliche. Just enough of the geek look to throw you off the scent that he is a tights wearing, butt kickin', logo emblazoned Superhero. Here he comes to save the day....

Speaking of superheroes, Devan and I have decided that every time we see a fist bump we are going to proclaim "Wonder Twin Powers Activate!" I just ruined Deal or No Deal for you didn't I? You will never be able to watch Howie Mandel do his germophobic alternative to the handshake without thinking that he is secretly saying "...form of an ice dreidel!"

Backward Tricycle

I saw the most curious motorcycle today that had two wheels in the front and one in the back. The two wheels in the front were somewhat close together. It was really odd. They guy was right behind me so I was hardly paying attention out the windshield, I was way more interested in what was in my rear view mirror! So it looks like a normal motorcycle but with two wheels about a foot apart and then the rear wheel is normal. How does this thing turn? Why the two wheels? Is it for people with bad balance who are embarrassed by the two wheels in back tricycle motorcycle? I mean, its understandable if they are because if your not 75 or older and have a passenger cart thingy attached for your spouse, it does look a little silly. It's almost like a motorcycle for the handicap. This sleek two front wheeled cycle was cool though. As the guy went around the corner, he still had to lean into it and then the tires adjusted to the turn. It was amazing. Oh! As I'm trying to find a picture to show you...I see that its called a Reverse Trike Motorcycle. My joke name was just a synonym! How awesome am I?!

As the weather gets nicer and people roll down there windows and leisurely rest their arm on the door or let it dangle out of the window...I seriously want to drive up next to them, get real close, and slap there hand! Like a cruisin down the road enjoyin the nice drive in the sunshine high five. It's just so tempting. Plus, how funny would it be?! I'm cracking up just thinking about it, but could you imagine the reaction! Your driving along, enjoying the cool breeze on your hand when SMACK!!!! What!!! Someone just touched your hand at 30 miles per hour! Imagine telling that to your insurance agent...yeah, someone gave me five driving down the road and it startled me so bad I ran off the road and hit a tree!

Agh I think I'm getting a wart

On my finger of all places! hmph! I can't tell if it's one of those little under the skin mini blisters or a wart. It's in the creases by my knuckle which makes it hard to see. I've tried to probe around and possibly pop it (in case it is the mini blister) but that just made it harder to tell what it is and now there is a scab there.

I'm gonna have some Cocoa Pebbles now. I've got a chocolate craving and haven't eaten dinner. It's like my cereal is multi-tasking. :)

Happy Spring. It actually feels like it today. Warm and windy. Long sleeves but no jacket needed and a nice strong breeze. Okay, it's windy today, but its still nice. Oh, and they opened our pool! Yep, March 23rd our pool was opened. It's a little early and cool but to each his own...

Did ya miss me?

Sorry, internet was down and we couldn't figure out why. I get home from work one day and Devan tells me he got the internet to work. I asked what he did and he said he got so frustrated with it he slammed his hands down on the keyboard. Viola! We have internet again! When in doubt go old school...

I had a fun birthday. After work last Friday a bunch of us met up for drinks. A couple people who have never gone out before came so that made me feel good. :) Although, stupid cheap turds I work with didn't even buy me a drink! Hmph! It was fun to get out though. Saturday I went to lunch with Aunt Garnet and Karen. Then in the evening Devan and I went to downtown Franklin for their St. Patrick's Day celebration called Feile (fay-la) Franklin. There were dancers and live music and a freakishly tall leprauchan. The weather wasn't great but we didn't get rained on so that was good. I love watching the dancers. We watched the students from one of the local dance studios and they were amazing. I love that footwork. They kick their legs up so high each time that they literally kick themselves in the butt when they are dancing. Insane! Talk about some leg muscles and nice legs. I tell you wut - if you want some great legs, take up Irish dancing. We might tease you guys about wanting to be the next Michael Flatly or tease you girls about being in River Dance...but who cares if your legs look that great!!!

Congratulations to my friend Deb - she is getting married tomorrow! And congratulations to deanna (spelled in lower case on purpose) who has landed her first official photography job - Deb's wedding! You will both be great and hope you have a wonderful fabulous day!

Snuggie Blanket for All The Single Ladies

By now most of you have heard that annoyingly catchy song by Beyonce "All The Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)." That song is a total earworm, once it gets in you can't get rid of it. And we are all too familiar with the Snuggie Blanket. They are odd and interesting enough that I almost want to get one for all of you for Christmas next year...especially my Neil Kelly friends who can't have space heaters anymore...think about it, how perfect would the Snuggie be!?! You could keep your hands out to work but keep your arms warm. Perfect, I'm telling you! Anyway, the local radio station here did a spoof of earworm song with annoying commercial. It's hilarious! They even got the local morning talk show to participate and a Preds player (no idea who since I don't follow hockey - deanna, wanna share some of your hockey wisdom with the rest of us?). Enjoy. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0-lQtAV7o

Hideously Ugly but Super Cool

Turkey Vultures are freakishly ugly and somewhat frightening but they are so cool. I'm so intrigued by them. They are sort of like a car crash - when I see one I can't look away. I'm really tempted to get some spoiled meat next time I'm at the store. I can't decide if I should throw it into the parking lot to attract the vultures or onto the grassy area where there won't be any people or cars to scare them off. The only problem with doing it in the grassy area is that I might attract the urban coyotes that live in the little wooded area. I haven't seen any of our bunnies that live in the woods so the coyote(s) have been busier than the bunnies.

The weather is warming slowly each day. It is supposed to get up to 70 this weekend! Yay!

Ooh, and it will help the meat spoil even faster...

Congratulations Portland - you are #1!!!!! Portland takes top honors for being the "Unhappiest City." I think it all boils down to the lack of sunshine and bright light filled days. The report of course didn't take that into account but had to be all scientific and base it on things like unemployment rates, suicide rates, number of rainy days, and other factors that they applied across the board. Nashville was not in the top 10 but was in the top 20. My memory is fading as I get older but I think it was like #14. Of course I could just be making all this up - I don't remember...

Harumph! I got an early b-day present...A GRAY EYEBROW HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrr! >:

March snow

We woke up to snow this morning! It really is a waste of snow to happen on a weekend and especially on a Sunday. Nobody really gets the benefit of a Snow Day. :( Crazy that March 1st its snowing in the south.

Devan and I went to see the movie Taken. I really like Liam Neeson. The movie was intriguing. I don't know that I've ever seen Liam Neeson in an action film so I wasn't expecting much but I was pleasantly surprised. He pulled it off and it was a good story line. My movie rating is "worth full price," "worth matinee price," or "wait til it comes out on video." If it's really bad but there is a little interest anyway, that gets a "wait til it comes to tv." :) Anyway, Taken gets a "worth full price" rating.

I finally got the terrible picture of me in front of the wiener mobile to download...

Calgon take me away!!!!!!

I'm fed up with everyone and everything! My son's new years resolution was to be nicer to the cats. Instead, he's awful, he's a pest, he messes with them- so I get to shield the cats from him and try to keep them from turning into psycho kitties. I think I'm going to teach him a lesson and leave his bedroom door open so the cats will go in and pee on his bed. That's what they do to get back at him. As revenge goes, that is a great way to get back at someone. We as humans should do that too, just start peeing on peoples things if they are mean to us. Its so much more of a hassle for the person receiving the gift of pee. They have a whole mess to clean up, sanitize, and de-stinkify. It's true justice. :) Come to think of it, forget the cats, maybe I'll go pee on his bed!!!!!!!!

Friday night a group of girls from work went out for fondue. It was fun and the food was really good. I'm not a big cheese fan but we got a flavored kind which was very tasty. Of course the dessert was great because it was chocolate. My favorite part though, the salmon. Mmmm! It doesn't seem like a lot of food at first but once you start eating it seems to multiply. I felt like I was living a modern day loaves and fishes story from the Bible.

I like reading cars

The bumper stickers. I love them. I will be entertained for the ENTIRE red light if a car in front of me is covered in bumper stickers. I would never deface my car with them, but I love it when other people do. And yet I hate those family ones they put on the back window with the little man or woman and kids and dog and/or cat. Puh-leaze! And I don't care that there are five people in your family plus a dog and cat and I re-hee-hee-ly don't care what their names are...unless of course I'm a stalker and viola! I just got your kids names, followed you around town, know your kids schedule and where you live...guess what super suburban mom? You just made my life as a criminal that much easier. (says the suburban mom with a super smug air about her)

oh, btw - I'm not a criminal...I'm just sayin...

Back to my original thought on how fabulous some bumper stickers are...saw a good one today, thought I'd share:

Never raise your hands to a child...it leaves your groin unprotected!!!

Now that explains why you don't see people give a high 10, it's always a high 5.

I've got the Oscar Mayer song stuck in my head

I have a terrible picture of me in front of the coolest vehicle EVER! (can't get it to upload properly) I got to see the Oscar Mayer wiener mobile!!! It was at the movie theater when I dropped Devan off on Friday night. It was dark and everyone had gone in for the night so I didn't get to see inside. I don't know if I would have been able to anyway, but I have decided it's rather large in the back end of the dog...big enough to sleep in. Plus, that thing is always touring around the U.S., so the driver or possibly drivers must live in it, they at least have to sleep in it. I wanna sleep in it! Oh, how much fun would that be to take camping...oh, yeah!!! I'm not sure how we would attach the bike rack though. Anyway, as I was typing out Oscar Mayer, I instantly started singing the "my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R, my bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R, oh, I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me Why? I'll say, cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!"

You know and I know, you just sang it and it's stuck in your head too...

Happy Valentine's Day

Hope your day is filled with love and happiness. <3

Shorts weather

It's warm. :) I saw a guy wearing shorts and a t-shirt today. Its gorg-us (said with a fancy snooty french accent). Too bad my son is sick. He can't enjoy the nice weather because he's lying on the couch being ill and sleeping. When I called the school attendance office they said there was something going around the freshman class because they've had a lot of calls today. I have to admit though, I'm glad I went to work. He acts like such a helpless baby if I'm home. Seriously, it's annoying. Plus, he threw up and he would have acted completely pathetic if I were here.

My car had a small oil leak, which I knew about, that was very minimal and not a big deal. My mechanic told me where it was and how much it would be to fix it but since it was so slight, just check my oil and if it's low add some. It is something I wouldn't need to fix unless it seems to be getting worse. I played it really conservative with my tax withholding and am getting a lot back. I took my car in to get an estimate to fix the leak. There is more than one leak. My engine is sort of oozing oil. There are three small leaks now. The leak I knew about is a small part but labor intensive to fix. The two new ones are small and don't require much time but all in all, I've decided that I'm in the wrong profession! They estimate a job to take 3 hours but if they get done in 2, you still get charged for the three! I'm short enough to work under the engine easily enough so I think I should become a mechanic. Plus, my fingernails will always have engine grime in them so I won't bite them. I can make lots of money and have nice long but dirty fingernails. Win/Win (I can live with dirt. God made dirt so dirt don't hurt.)

We made snickerdoodles the other night and Devan preheated the oven while we prepared the cookie dough. I made a big sheet of them and when I opened the oven door a plume of black smoke escaped! Did I burn the cookies? How did I burn the cookies?! Oh, yeah, that's why...Devan preheated the oven to 450 instead of 400!!!! Needless to say we corrected the temp of the oven and made the rest of the cookies. I was fortunate enough to get a few of the cookies before my 14 year old son horked them down. Hhmm, maybe that's why he's throwing up today...too many cookies. It has to be the amount of cookies, not the quality - I'm a good cookie cook. :)

Dating My Son

My handsome boy got his hair cut. He looks great! It also shows how much he looks like his father. :( The new hair cut makes him look a lot older meaning when we go out to eat now, people will think we are on a date! It's been happening for a while now. We'll get servers asking if our orders are one separate tickets or they will hand the bill to Devan. One lady was even pushing the wine list on me and when I refused, she looked at Dev and asked him if he wanted a drink? Yeah, he has a soda, he's good thanks! I guess I need to look more parental or something. :)

He went from this...


To...

MUCH BETTER!!!!

Cheshire Moon

Okay, that's a really cool title. Look at me tooting my own horn. TOOT TOOT "Yeah, good one Kristi, that was a really good title and it just sounds cool like it would make a good title for a book or even a band name." Yay me and my creative mind. :) Oh! Ow, I think I just strained my shoulder twisting in an awkward way to pat myself on the back.......

The other night we were driving home and looked up at the moon. It was just a little sliver but it wasn't the sideways sliver like ( it was laying down, like a smile. It was really cool because it was really bright and you could faintly make out the rest of the moon. It reminded me of the Cheshire Cat, in Alice in Wonderland, when it would fade out but have this really bright smile.

I'm not sure if congratulations are in order or not - Oregon has moved down the ladder for unemployment. As of December it's now in 6th place for the highest unemployment rate. Michigan took a huge leap to top off the list at #1. The automotive industry has obviously come to a crashing halt! (hee, hee - like the play on words there...) Anyway, even though Oregon's unemployment rate went up to 9% in December, congratulations for working your way down a few spots.

It's been really cold here again (like most everywhere else in the US) but we have had sunshine and it has been warming a little in the afternoons. By warm I mean 40 degrees. Well, we are in the south and I still find it strangely fascinating to see a bird this time of year. Well, a bird thought it was strangely fascinating to have a car parked near a tree. I was greeted by frozen bird poop on my windshield! It was dry and very cold the next couple days so running my windshield wipers and using the spray would have only smeared it and then I would have a frozen smear of bird poo across my windshield. I had frozen bird doo on my windshield for two days! It warmed up a little and then rained so it came off. Stupid birds, it's cold here, go farther south. Go poo on cars in Alabama!

I will leave you with one last thought. Why do they call it "chicken fried chicken" or even "chicken fried steak"? The steak isn't fried in chicken, neither is the chicken for that matter. So with the logic of chicken fried chicken can we order steak fried steak or fish fried fish? I think I'm gonna try it next time I'm at a restaurant that serves "chicken fried chicken."

Everyone is doing fine

We went to see Aunt Garnet today. Three weeks ago she had a heart attack and then double bypass surgery. She is home and resting comfortably. She is making steady progress in her recovery. She gets tired easily but is now accepting a few visitors. She doesn't eat much and is thinner than before the surgery but Karen is constantly feeding her trying to get a little weight back on. She is in good spirits and is doing well with her physical therapy. She said she's not in any pain although the scar on her chest is beginning to get a little itchy as it heals. We took her a bag of apples and told her that an apple a day is supposed to keep the doctor away and we don't want another scare like that so stay away from the emergency room doctors!



Karen is well but very tired. She is wearing herself out caring for her mom. She was very annoyed that the insurance company wouldn't cover the rehabilitation facility but feels more comfortable having her mom at home. It's amazing how invasive bypass surgery is and for someone 91 years old to survive and be recovering as well as someone in their 40's is incredible. The doctors and physical therapist are very pleased with her progress. Those around Garnet frequently have noticed a very slight lapse in her cognitive skills. She seems to repeat things and to repeat questions. Anyone not around her much would not recognize this but chalk it up to her age. I think her body is finally starting to act its age and it really bothers Karen. So far the last two January's they have had to deal with heart attacks. Greg had one in 2008 and Garnet this year. It took them until August to finally resolve what was causing Greg's heart issues. I want to make sure that during December and then January of next year, Karen takes it easy and they break that cycle of January heart attacks.



I just saw a clip of football on the news and there was that guy that has the really long fuzzy hair. I wonder how much hair he looses by it getting pulled out during each game? As mean as it sounds, I would totally grab a handful of that if I got the chance. It's almost like he wants it to get pulled by leaving it all poofy and loose for anyone to grab a hold of in the middle of a tackle. Plus, it would be annoying if it got in someones face during a big pile of guys. I think their should be some sort of rule about it along with the rules about their uniforms. Why someone would want that much hair sticking out seems a little off to me anyway. Obviously its for attention because it can't be more comfortable than having it all tucked nicely into some sort of skull cap and out of peoples reach. It must have so much mud and turf in it by the end of the game. And what a tangled mess. I guess the attention thing works though, I'm talking about it. :)



Interesting thought for the day provided by Jordan: An employee of the Alabama Department of Transportation installed spyware on his boss's computer and proved that the boss spent 10% of his time working (20% of time checking stocks and 70% of the time playing solitaire). The employee was fired, the boss kept his job.

You Gotta Love the South

They close school when it gets cold! Friday school was closed because it was cold. It was not icy or excessively rainy or windy, just cold. When I got to work on Friday it was 8 degrees and the warmest it got was 18 degrees. It was dry and sunny but very cold. Now I know that the south is totally not equipped for the snow and if there is anything more than a light dusting, they will cancel school and have "Storm Watch" on all the channels. The cold one baffled me though. I think the news mentioned that they were concerned about children having to wait outside for the bus and that many children had to walk to school. Devan was loving it! That means he gets a 4 day weekend! All I can do is laugh at the ridiculousness of closing school because it's cold.

I had two nice surprises this week. I had a package delivered and Devan opened it. He called me and told me that my friends are so sweet! He didn't tell me what I got so I was anxious to get home and see what sort of gift would make Devan say that. I got personalized M&M's!!!!! They were awesome! They were orange and teal colored and one said "Just Because" and the other said "I miss you Kristi." I took pictures but with a disposable camera since my batteries are dead for my digital and I keep forgetting to get more. Okay, it is seriously cool to see your name on candy!!!! I always wondered why the big Nestle or Hershey on the chocolate bars but now I know, having your name on candy is way fun!! And yes, my son was right, my friends are the best! Knowing that I love the extra gesture as much as I love the unique gift is what sets them apart. :)

Oh, and I got another fabulous surprise - one of my friends is getting married! I am so happy for her. She has finally found Mr. Right and I know this will be her forever marriage. Even writing about it now makes me smile for her. So while I'm a little jealous that she found Mr. Right, I have to cling to the thought that he has a younger brother...there better be more than one Mr. Right. Maybe we should say she found Mr. Right for her that way I will still be able to find Mr. Right for me! I am SO logical at 10 pm on a Sunday night.

To all of you in Oregon - hang in there. I just saw unemployment rates and you my dear West Coasters are like the 3rd highest. Yikes!

Okay, side note - the sirens are going crazy here! Ambulances and Fire Trucks. I'm not sure what's going on but the roads must be a mess or something because there has been a lot of noise activity for the last hour!

The other day at work we heard this really loud siren go off at the Fire Station down the road. A couple people said they thought it was probably a test of the tornado warning siren. I totally had to laugh because it sounded EXACTLY like the fire siren in Gladstone! For those of you not in Gladstone it will seem a little odd but there are only a couple full time fire fighters and the rest are volunteers. When there is a fire and they need all the crew in to help, they sound the siren. You can hear it all through town. When I was a kid there were two guys on our street who were fire fighters so whenever we heard the siren, we knew to get out of the road (if we were playing in it) because very soon two cars would go speeding off toward the fire department. After hearing the tornado siren I'm not sure I will register it as a tornado warning but rather a fire and will be on the lookout for cars speeding past to get to the fire station!

Happy New Year!!!

Okay, so I'm a little s...l...o...w. Lots of nothing has been going on.

Anyone broken their resolutions yet? Don't lie, you know you have. I'm not here to judge, who am I to scold you when it's taken me 12 days to wish you all Happy New Year!?

I got to have dinner with my cousin and his wife. I haven't seen him in like 6 years or something. He and his wife live in Texas. They have a farm. It's really funny to picture him as a farmer since he is a computer programming smarty pants. They have goats and bunnies and a donkey and his wife is in charge of the farmer's market. It's crazy. They laugh at where they've ended up too. They love it but who would have ever thought they would end up there? My cousin is even learning to make cheese and they are contemplating getting a cow. :) It's just so funny these two suburbanites turned farmers but still working in the programming business.

We also had a major scare with my mom's Aunt Garnet. She had a heart attack and had to have a double bypass. She is 91. The doctors thought they were going to do a triple but deemed the third bypass unnecessary. She is recovering nicely but doesn't want any visitors. Her son and daughter-in-law flew in from Ireland. One day while Garnet was still in the hospital, about a week after her surgery, her daughter reported a sort of "Patch Adams" incident that brought the nurse storming in. Aunt Garnet's heart rate increased by about 40-50 beats per minute and the nurse came to check on her. Garnet told the nurse she was ok but that she was just so excited because all of her family was there! It was cute.

Jordan has gone back to Oregon to finish up the school year. While I didn't like letting her go, I was a big girl and didn't cry this time. :) Okay, at least not at the airport.

My little son who isn't so little anymore got his report card. He got a 3.58! Woo-hoo! He made honor roll! He was so very proud. I think this is the first report card since like 6th grade that he's done this well on. Happy mommy. Although, now I expect this of him all the time so he just shot himself in the foot...kapow!!