New Monopoly Mascot

I finally broke down and went to the eye doctor. It takes me a really long time to focus on something so thought I should have it checked out. Turns out my eyes are basically fine. I'm actually good in my right eye, but my left eye, well... I can either cover my left eye when I want to see perfectly clear or live with a teeny tiny bit of blur. My eyes aren't bad enough to warrant a prescription however the Dr. told me I could get a monocle. Jordan looked at me and shook her head wishing instantly that the Dr. never said that because of course now I want a monocle! I don't think I could walk around with it on a silly gold chain so I think I would want it on a leather strap. Leather straps are much cooler than those granny chains. The only problem is, I'm not sure how well I could hold it or wedge it between my cheekbone and eyebrow. I would end up squinching up that side of my face. Not a good look for me. So I've figured out a way to wear a monocle without having to fidget with it or walk around with half my face squinched up - hook two straps on the side of it and wear it like an eye patch. Brilliant right?! And how much fun would it be to flip up my eye patch monocle to give people the evil eye?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! One word - AWESOME! I totally want a monocle now. It's either that or I'll get glasses and pop out the lense for my good eye. Still, the monocle would be so great - I could be the new Monopoly Guy/Gal.